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Showing posts from February, 2016

Divatosity: Water Colors

Water color paintings always put me into a reflective mood. 
It's as though, the artist is requesting that I immediately take stock of my current life circumstances.

Breakup Essays: Essay #5-Soul Contract Breakup

Breakup Essays: Essay #5-Soul Contract Breakup Postcard by Bougie Girl
It’s always awkward to get dumped by your soul mate. Usually, it has something to do with timing and/ lack of maturity of one or both parties in the relationship. Now, your first reaction might be to strenuously fight the breakup. After all, it is your soul mate and they owe you some type of loyalty, right? Besides, in these types of relationships there is an unwritten document which binds you together with your soul mate. It is called a soul contract. Its terms were negotiated and decided upon long before you met in this lifetime.  You might have to sue your soul mate into fulfilling the terms of the soul contract. Of course, if you decide to do that finding a jurisdiction to hear your case might be a little tricky. Especially since the justice system is not equipped to handle these types of cases. You could call on your respective spirit guides to mediate the matter, but that can get a little awkward since they don…

Breakup Essays: Essay #4-Friends With Benefits Fade Out

Breakup Essays: Essay #4-Friends With Benefits Postcard by Bougie Girl

             Our arrangement was only supposed to be temporary. We were one another’s placeholder until something more suitable came along. Overall, this arrangement worked for us. Our friends and family knew that we were one another’s placeholder. Our names were often listed together on wedding invitations, birthday parties, and other social events. This suited us both just fine. In fact, our friends with benefits status sustained us throughout our 20’s and into our mid 30’s. Until one fateful day, I met someone and the instant spark of attraction floored me. I had never felt so drawn to a man in my life. Not even my FWB. The code of ethics surrounding our arrangement required that I inform my FWB of this  new development in my life. To my secret disappointment, my FWB is not even fazed by my news. “Cool,” he replies. How can he be so casual about this? Shouldn’t he be a little more heartbroken? “Thanks for understan…

Breakup Essays: Essay #3-Break Up By Committee

Breakup Essays: Essay #3-Break Up By Committee Postcard by Bougie Girl

Your friends hate him. Your family is not really a fan of his either. You are even starting to detest him a little bit. But, you feel guilty for your sudden onslaught of disdain for him. Then, you reason that it is technically his fault since your disdain stems from his lack of vocational prospects. Yes, you could technically do better. But, you’ve already broken him in and acclimated him to the way in which you like things to be done. You are definitely not ready to give him up. But, no one in either your inner or outer circle has any amount of respect for him. Perhaps, if he didn’t look at you as though you were his last life raft, you could scrape up a bit of respect for him. You have consulted just about everyone on both sides of your family, as well as close friends. Everyone is in agreement that he has to go. However, what no one can seem to agree on is the manner in which you tell him goodbye. You have debated wh…

Breakup Essays: Essay #2-Ambiguous Parting

Breakup Essays: Essay #2-Ambiguous Parting Postcard by Bougie Girl

You are broken up. Well, at least you think that you broke up. His text message was unclear. It was something about needing space and taking time away. But, there was not an explicit mention of a breakup, per se. It’s been a month. You are still friends on Facebook and he still sends you  texts about the reality show that you used to watch together. How should you interpret this? Part of you wants to wait him out to see if you are still together. Yet, your ego is shouting,  “Hell, naw! This joker had his chance. It’s time for me to move the hell onto better pastures.” Some days, your ego almost shouts you down. She wants you to cut off all contact with him. She’s also urging me to set up online dating profiles.  But, what if you do and you meet someone wonderful? That would ruin your chances for a reconciliation. Obviously if you are talking on a regular basis, how broken up could you possibly be? You don’t want to lose yo…

Breakup Essays: Essay #1- The Fight That Comes Out of Nowhere

Breakup Essays: Essay #1- The Fight... Postcard by Bougie Girl
The day starts off with so much promise. A road trip to a far-flung vineyard to spend time with his friends. The trip has been planned for months. All of his friends are now either engaged or married with a baby on the way. Thinking of this fact makes you reflexively smile. He has been so insistent that you build a strong rapport with his friends. They are overjoyed that he has finally found someone to spend his life with. That’s where your relationship is headed. He has said as much, and his friends may have dropped hints about it as well. It’s not an “if” but a “when” that you will be spending the rest of your life with him.
However, a couple of hours into the trip, it’s obvious that he is not happy about something. Yet, he refuses to discuss whatever it is that has him so agitated. You have learned not to pry. He will eventually tell you when he is ready to do so. You lean back in the passenger’s seat and close your eyes. …

Breakup Essays: Foreword

Don’t you wish that you could tailor a relationship breakup to suit your needs? Kind of like relationship dissolution à la carte. The dumper could send you an invitation to download a breakup app which would give you choices on how you would like to conduct a breakup.  For the more dysfunctional couples, they could opt to engage in a raucous screaming match in which the app would after a matter of five minutes, automatically dial the cops. Passive-aggressive couples could use the breakup app to send hurtful messages to each other which are scheduled to arrive at random times of the day.  Pragmatic couples could use the app to settle up financial obligations, draft up non- disparagement agreements, and to forward mail. Finally, the emotional unavailable couple could use the app for the sole purposes of breaking up with one another. Why speak to each other when using an app is so much more convenient? Unfortunately, you do not get to pre-plan how your breakups will come to be. We just stum…

New Series: Breakup Essays

Almost 2 years ago, I wrote several essays about the different types of breakups that I have experienced or witnessed from the sidelines. 
I had ambitions of publishing it as an e-book but, life kind of stepped in and they have languished in my laptop until now...
Starting next week, I will begin posting these essays. 
Some of them are humorous and others are cringe-worthy.

Ten Monologues For Women:Monologue #10- Writing Our Love Story

Ten Monologues For Women:Monologue #10- Writing... Postcard by Bougie Girl
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I had it all outlined in my head. Our love story. The tale that would conquer all love stories coming before or after it. It is a story of opposites attracting, falling in love, and staying together forever.

Alas, it didn’t really turn out that way.

Instead, I ended up getting dumped two weeks before our wedding sans a proper explanation.

He mumbled something about not being ready after all and that was it. It turned out to be a blessing.

Life with him would have severely stunted me in too many ways to count.

I fell in love with the man I knew that he could be. But, not the man he actually was. Not a good thing in the long run.

 It was only going to lead to disappointment for both of us.

At first, I was upset because I felt as though he didn’t fight for our relationship.

 He just walked away because he felt overwhelmed with his feelings towards me.
"I am not ready…

Ten Monologues For Women: Monologue #9-They Never Know What To Say

Ten Monologues For Women: Monologue #9-They Never Postcard by Bougie Girl
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My friends want to comfort me but, they don’t know how to do so. No one wants to talk about it with me. I suppose they feel a little guilty because they all have healthy children. I was the first one to get married but, the last one to get pregnant.

My career took up most of my life and Juan was starting his food truck business so, I had no choice but, to work a lot of hours to cover his half of the bills. It’s only been in the last couple of years that his business has turned a profit. So, we decided that now was finally the time for us to start a family.

But, it wasn’t that easy. I am a supportive wife whom stood by her husband so that he could live his dream. Now, I am being punished because I waited too long to have kids. Of course, my husband doesn’t see it that way. He’s convinced that the Universe will bless us with a child when it’s ready to do so. He’s quite t…