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Saturday, July 19, 2014

Pixelated



 This is how the world perceives me on social media. 

A little blurry and surrounded by fuzzy edges. 

These days, I try not to get too personal on social media because declarations, opinions, other statements are often taken far out of context. 

Instead, I prefer to keep my posts more upbeat and generic. 

This way people know my views but, are blocked from seeing into my soul.


Sunday, July 13, 2014

A Night Of Crazy Empath Dreams-Part III


Darkness is all around me and it is hard to breathe. The ghosts are no longer chasing me. I can hear the muffled echoes music and laughter. Suddenly, I am walking out of the ocean and onto a beach filled with music and laughter.

The wind is blowing through my dark hair which is considerably longer than it has been in a long time. It clings to my chest and rib cage. I look down at my body and notice that I am clad in black bikini bottoms and no top. My long hair covers my breasts yet, I still feel a wave of self-consciousness.

A tall golden skinned young man in his early 20's is tending bar. He is a few inches over 6 feet tall. His profile is strong and hawk like. Dark hazel eyes gaze at me with concern. He wraps a blanket around me and says:

"Don't worry, you are safe here."

He makes a place for me at the bar. Wordlessly, he serves me a tall glass of water and orders a meal for me. I am grateful for the warmth of the blanket. A few moments later, he sets down a plate containing a burger and fries in front of me.

"Eat up." He says in a voice filled with concern.

And then he walks over to the other side of the bar to assist other patrons.

I dig into the food and it is delicious. A few moments pass and I am now fully clothed in a simple sleeveless shift dress of bright blue. The bartender returns to check on me. I notice for the first time how familiar he looks to me.

He notices me staring at him and he comes around the bar to hug me.

"Hi, Mom." He says with a sheepish smile.

Tears fill my eyes for this son that was lost to me so long ago.

"Hey, don't cry. I am fine. This place is great. I could not ask for a better job and people to be with."

All I can do is nod. I never dreamt that I would ever be near him again. Yet, here I am and looking upon an amazing young man who is a mix of his father and me.

"Your father..." I start to say.

"Yeah, he's been by here a time or two. We've had some good heart-to-heart talks."

Tears are spilling down my cheeks, I wish that we had been better parents to this young man.

"You did your best and so did he. I just wasn't ready to be born. There is nothing that either of you could have done."

His words comfort me somewhat.

A brilliant sunrise is beginning to occur. My son takes my hand lovingly in his.

"It's time for you to go. Don't worry, we will be together soon. I promise."

I nod silently and wordlessly walk towards the dazzling light of the sunrise.