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Sunday, June 28, 2015

Curvy New Reality

I am down 23 pounds from last year. I still have about 10 pounds to go. However, I have noticed that with each melting pound, my bust line appears exponentially larger. Back in my 30's, I was so happy to finally get some curves. Now, in my early 40's, I feel as though my body has gone from  curvy athlete straight to pin-up girl status. Which isn't terrible, but, it is definitely a huge difference for me.

I notice it the most when I am working out or trying on clothes. Fabrics cling a lot harder than they used to. I can recall a time when a wrap dress such as the one I am wearing the photo would hang in a way that emphasized my legs more than my bust.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Clearing Out The Clutter

We found this assorted clutter in the shed. It has been in there for years...but, not for too much longer.

This used to be the farm's workshop and downstairs is the barn.

I am learning that bringing things back to life is more than just slapping the proverbial new coat of paint on it and throwing in some new fixtures. There is a whole process of removal, cleaning, and stripping things down to the bare bones.

The shed is actually in fairly good condition considering the years of neglect that it has endured. During my visit earlier this month, I did the best that I could to reassure it of my return.

Friday, June 26, 2015

You Smiled In Her Face...And Thought About Your Fallback Girl

You smiled in her face and vowed to never leave her side. Yet, here you are on the phone with your fallback girl begging for another chance. You were wrong to walk out and run to someone else. It's just this thing that seems to happen each and every time you start to experience an iota of personal growth.

Your fallback girl knows the score and is happy to have you back for how ever long that you decide to least that's what she tells whilst scrolling through your phone. She is wondering why your shared history is not enough to keep you chained to her side or at the very least enthralled with the idea of being with her forever.

You married your wife to spare your fallback girl from having to take you back. Yet, your wife (soon to be ex) made unrealistic demands on you. She wanted you to stay faithful and exhibit loyalty. These are not natural behaviors for you but, still you smiled and humored her.

It was the best four months of your life until, you started feeling the familiar grasping at your soul.

Your bride does not even pick up on the fact that you are experiencing a heavy dose of anxiety and the desire to jump ship. You begin distancing yourself away from her and she does not even seem to notice. Which makes you desire to stay in the marriage. Perhaps, it is your ego or even your curiosity. One day a text comes through her phone while she is in the shower.

You pick up the phone and read the text. It states that your bride should move on with her life and stop bugging her married ex. You are assuming that the author of the text is the wife of her Ex.

You dial the number and an angry woman answers. You identify yourself and her anger comes down about 10 levels. In fact the tone of her voice shifts from anger to sympathy. She spends the next few minutes detailing how your new bride's infidelity.

You are so angry. How dare she cheat on you with an Ex? Sure, you may have dreamed and longed for your Fallback girl but, you never cheated.

A few minutes pass and your new bride is still in the shower. You look around the room. Most of the stuff in it is stuff that you purchased together. But, you have never been materialistic sort of person.

You pack up all of your clothes and start hauling them out to your car.

She steps out the shower as you come back upstairs for the last of your things. Her long brown hair is up in a top knot and she is engulfed in a white billowy terry cloth robe

Confusion fills her face.

"Your Ex's wife has asked that you stop contacting him."

Her face falls and she opens mouth but, no words come out.

You take this opportunity to grab up your duffel bag of shoes and walk out of the door.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

A Cactus In The Prairie...

As I strolled through our property...I came across a cactus in the midst of the prairie. I wanted to scoop it up and take it back to the city with me. But, my better judgement prevailed and I settled for snapping a photo of it instead.

Friday, June 19, 2015

Open Woods

Open woods in the country. This is the view from the middle of our property.

Saturday, June 13, 2015

One Step Towards The Future...

Sometimes, life can feel super overwhelming. You have so much to do and it feels like you will not be able to accomplish it all. I have just returned from that place. I spent the past couple of years fighting my way through it.

Then, I took one step and then another and momentum built up and I can see the blessings more clearly.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Farm Dreams With A Healthy Dose Of Reality...

Today, I visited our farm property for the first time in a little over 4 years. I knew what to expect and yet it was still more than a little heartbreaking to see the distress and disrepair up close.

This afternoon's rain added to the melancholy atmosphere of today's property walk. Yet, by the end of the day I was filled with a sense of renewed hope and determination. There is a bit of bruising but, overall the dream is still alive.

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Makeup-Free and Unbrushed

In this photo, I am rockin' a makeup-free face and my hair is a little on the disheveled side. This photo has nothing to do with a hashtag campaign and I do not feel especially empowered by  it existence. It is a photo of what I look like in the morning...nothing more, nothing less.

Friday, June 5, 2015

Lazy Evenings Which Progress Into Productivity

Tonight started out with me attending a casual BBQ at a friend's house, next I had a long chat with my neighbor about child-rearing, and later on this evening I will do some research on what goes into stabilizing a house foundation. It has been a random evening to say the least.

I had originally planned to spend this entire evening socializing and having fun with friends. Yet, around 7:30 pm, I felt something within urge me to get at least a couple more things done before calling it a night.

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