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Showing posts from April, 2013

Irrevocable Endings

Irrevocable Endings by Bougie Girl Apparel

It just needed to end and unlike our past partings...this one is gonna be forever. There will be no casual touchbacks or coincidental-but-not-really-run-ins out in public. 
This is our final round.
I can't recall the day in which I completely lost respect for you. It might have been after one of our many screaming matches.
 After we made up, I realized that I much preferred being without you. Frankly, I no longer wish to waste precious time with someone whom I had outgrown five years ago. Yet, I didn't know how to let you go. I admit that I played games to keep you waiting for me. It felt so comforting to barge back into your life and find you still waiting for me. My ego loved it but, my heart had grown numb to our love.
After awhile, it became apparent that I no longer found you special anymore. Probably because I had mined out all of your inner sparkle and convinced you that I was the primary source of it.  I feel badly about the w…

Bougie Girl In The Kitchen: A Warm Bowl of Tomato Bisque

A cold April evening and I have spent the better part of it cooking and writing. I have been doing a lot of soul-searching lately. This evening's round of soul-searching  resulted in me  staring into a pan of tomato bisque and wondering about life's next unexpected plot twist

Just Hand Over Your Sparkle...And No One Gets Hurt

Just Hand Over Your Sparkle And No One Gets Hurt by Bougie Girl Apparel

I am not in this for the long haul. I just need a hit of your sparkle to make it through the day. This is why I have a tendency to pop in and out of your life. If I stay with you too long, your sparkle will be corrupted by my never-ending stream of  BS.

So, you just hand over your sparkle and I will be on my way...

Warning: I Will Stomp Your Dreams Into Oblivion

Warning: I Will Stomp Your Dreams... by Bougie Girl Apparel

I didn't start off the day wanting to stomp the heck out of your dreams. It just kind of randomly happened. Don't worry, your dreams will appear on the horizon once again...someday..maybe.

Passport to....

My birthday is coming up this weekend. I am turning the big 39.

Ten years ago, I had  huge dreams of traveling internationally.  And why not? I was an unmarried, 29 year old with no kids and a wide open future.  Now on the eve of my 39th birthday, I still haven't traveled abroad. Each time that I planned to travel abroad, life would throw some major crisis my way and travel plans would fall to the wayside.

I am confident that I can still manage to get some international travel in before my 40th birthday.

Best. Date. Ever.

The transistor radio is playing a baseball game between The Kansas City Royals and The Philadelphia Phillies.

We are only half-listening to the game. Instead, we are talking and laughing about the most random things imaginable.

Is this really my life now?

Last year, I was living on the East Coast in a charming walk up apartment which felt like an abandoned nest of faded dreams and unrealized potential.
 Where's the drama, tears, and feelings of abject relationship failure? Is it possible that I am no longer pining for the life that I thought I was supposed to have but, never seemed to quite pan  out?

I don't really have answers to any of above-mentioned questions because I am too focused on the overall lightness of my spirit.

A couple of hours later, cool breezes, and a storm darkened sky brings our date to an early close.

Driving back to my apartment, I am struck (in a good way) by the contented turn that my life has taken over these past 8 months.

Warning: I Will Hijack Your Youth... by Bougie Girl Apparel

You have spent your entirely young life trying to appease me in some form or fashion. I have not made it easy for you to do so. In fact, I have done everything in my power to ensure that you never feel secure within our relationship. I draw you in and then just as quickly push you away. I like watching you scramble around trying to find the quickest way back into my good graces. The truth is that I do not have any good graces to speak of whatsoever.
You have yet to figure out that our relationship is just a game for me. On our wedding day, I will not have thoughts of our life together but, of how long it will take me to train your replacement. By my estimation, it will take us a few years to grow our family. During this time, I will become the man of your dreams so, much so that you will fail to notice that I am slowly distancing myself from our family. Out of the blue, I will file for divorce right before our 15 year anniver…