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Showing posts from July, 2012

Honesty Monologues: Loser Motel

Loser Motel by Bougie Girl Apparel

Ladies, do you find yourself attracting men with the following characteristics?

1. Over 35 and still rockin' "mommy issues".
2. Still complaining about heartless exes from the previous decade.
3. Insists on blaming everyone for all of his past, present, and future mistakes.
4. Tries to make you feel guilty for having solid boundaries.
5. Blames you for his inability to go further in life.

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions...then you might be a Loser Motel.

No woman really sets out into the dating world with the intention of being a Loser Motel. It happens because  over time we have become complacent, desperate, or we just plain don't know no better.

Whatever the cause(s), being a Loser Motel when it comes to relationships is guaranteed to leave us feeling empty and unsatisfied.

So, how can a woman with a long history of Loser Moteldom shut down the doors of her establishment for good?

It starts with the will…

Freewriting Series: Farm Dreams

My first foray into farming occurred over 30 years ago whilst traversing the property of my paternal grandparents. I loved working in my grandmother's garden and watering the various foliage which lined the main house.

Fast forward to 2012 and my dream of owning farmland has become a reality. Of course, it's going take a lot of time, sacrifice,  and financial investment to get everything back up and running. But, I know that in the end it will be more than worth it.

Meanwhile, my iPod is filled with podcasts related to farming, gardening, and other agrarian pursuits. I do not want to move to the middle of nowhere Kansas but, I do have dreams of rebuilding the property to its former glory.

Freewriting Series: Guest Room

I relocated back to my hometown earlier this week. As a result,  I am now residing in a guest room in my mother's house. It feels odd to be living back in T-Town. 
Everything has changed so much since my exodus from Kansas back in 1994. Over the years, I stopped in for brief visits during the holidays or en route  to more "glamorous" locales.
Now, I find myself adjusting from the easy going pace  of Newport, RI to the more down home atmosphere of Topeka, KS. This transition is definitely going to be very interesting to say the least!

The Road....

I am headed out today for a cross-country trek from the scenic shores of New England back to the wheatfields of the Heartland.

See y'all next week!

Freewriting Series: Closing Credits

By this time next week, I will hear the once again familiar sounds of robins cheerily chirping along with the hum of large delivery trucks headed for the interstate.

Gone from my life will be the shrill calls of angry seagulls and the constant drone of foghorns coming from the direction of a nearby harbor.

I can feel the closing of this chapter in my life. The door towards Newport, RI is not so much slamming shut but, it is firmly closing...and the proverbial deadbolt is sliding home.

Freewriting Series: My Soul Lights Up the Night Sky

This photo perfectly encapsulates how my life is going. There's darkness and yet it is being illuminated by the fireworks within my soul. I am moving from the sadness of last year and into a higher understanding of who I am as a person.  As I head back to my hometown, I am grateful for the past 17 years of living in different parts of this nation.
My New Mexico friends taught me how to relax and enjoy the simpler things in life. The folks in California showed me how to take time out for myself. The Minnesota people reminded/badgered me to practice humility on a regular basis. The Rhode Island folks helped me to remember the importance of accepting your family for whom they are and not whom you need them to be.
These important lessons from different regions of this nation have shaped me into the woman whom I am meant to be.

Honesty Dialogues: Good Vs. Better

Good Vs. Better by Bougie Girl Apparel

(Four people are sitting on the soundstage of a television talk show. The host, Andy  Man, Kinda Good (His Long-time  Ex) and  Definitely Better (Recent Ex  Flame). They have decided to bring their grievances to the television show in hopes of a resolution.  Andy Man is confused about where he wants to be.  Kinda Good doesn't want to let their long history go and  Definitely Better is trying to move on from him.)
Talk Show Host: Welcome to the show. On my stage today I have Andy  Man, his long-time Ex named Kinda Good and his recent Ex named Definitely Better. Today, we are going to discuss the concept of triangulation as it applies to romantic relationships and how it hurts all of the parties involved. Please welcome our guests to the show. (Applause is heard) Now, let's just jump right on in here because we have a lot of ground to cover on today's show. (Pauses) Let's go back to the very beginning what was your childhood like?

Freewriting: Bunches of Daisies!

I love daisies. They remind me of childhood and how I once viewed the world as a place of endless possibilities. Once upon a time, I would have placed one of these flowers in my eternally tangled hair.

Or perhaps, I would have examined their petals carefully under my microscope, all the while willing myself out of Topeka.

Honesty Dialogues: Looking For A Few Good Scapegoats

 Self-Loather And The Scapegoat by Bougie Girl Apparel

Interviewer: You always seem to have a scapegoat for every moment in your life. It takes a certain skill to always have a scapegoat at the ready. How do you determine whom you are going to scapegoat?

Self-Loather:  As a general rule, I have a tendency to scapegoat everyone whom I come into contact with on a regular basis. For example,  I scapegoat co-workers family members, friends, and of of course my significant other.

Interviewer: When did you first start using scapegoats in your every day life?

Self-Loather:  I was probably about five years old. We had a family dog. He was a Beagle and he loved chewing up everything. My mom bought this ugly pair of loafers and I "accidentally" left them out...and well, the dog chewed them to shreds.

Interviewer: Wow. What happened to the dog?

Self-Loather: (Shrugs) Well, my parents loved that dog and I knew that he would get a light swat for his crimes against my footwear. However, I…