Link Within

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Monday, May 30, 2011

Blockages and Idle Threats

 
It is not always easy to stand in your truth. Especially, when it involves other people.

I struggled with writing about my life because I was afraid of the ramifications of what standing in my truth would yield me.

In the past, loved ones would actively stalk my blogs  to see if any of the posts pertained to them.

Countless times, I received emails and texts blasting me for writing the blog posts about them which truthfully were about someone else entirely. Ironically, those whom I was writing about never seemed to mind as long as I did not get too specific with a situation or mention their name.

Nevertheless, the  constant monitoring created an anxiety within me about writing my personal observations.

I found myself watering everything down to the point of where I did not even recognize my own writing voice.

Thankfully, I no longer socialize with my former blogstalkers. Which means that I really have no excuse not to freely express myself. I am no longer worried about threatened lawsuits or being socially ostracized from an event.

I have the freedom to let my literary voice be heard.









Turning the Corner

 

Last month, I felt myself turning the proverbial corner. The sadness surrounding my breakup  has nearly disappeared. Sometimes, I get wistful for the wedding which was supposed to take place in a couple of months. I think of the simple ivory cotton dress which I was to wear.

Then, my mind clicks to the short honeymoon in Montreal. Next, is the future filled with love, kids, and the chaos that comes with a blended family situation....

All of the sudden my mind's projector flashes to the instability of the relationship and the unresolved issues from our collective pasts which was instrumental in the breakup. I see my impatience with his passive-aggressive behavior and his resentment of my strong personality.  I recall his frustration at not being able to pull the wool over my eyes and my unwillingness to see how much the relationship was holding me back.

Once things got a little rocky, the relationship dissolved almost immediately. Which in a sense was a blessing, because it saved me  from massive heartache in the future. I had the opportunity to witness just what would happen once the honeymoon phase was over and "real life" entered the picture.


I realize now that love alone does not heal character flaws. It is up to each individual to make the conscious effort to change. We cannot expect anyone, including our significant other to change us. We also cannot continue to blame others for all of our problems. Unless, of course, we wish to stay stuck in the same rut of discontentment.

Perhaps, my original plan of adopting children and avoiding marriage altogether will be the path I choose to take after all.

Clinging to "what might've been" is not an option for me.

Doing so, will only negate my true destiny.





Sunday, May 29, 2011

Bougie Girl In The Kitchen: Cookin' with Cumin

 


I started my journey into cookin' with cumin by tentatively sprinkling a dash of it on a beef cutlet.

The cumin really adds some much-needed punch to the beef cutlet.

The success of my first foray with cumin gives me courage to branch out a bit.

Next, I add cumin to a simple mixed greens salad with grilled mushrooms, Spanish onions, and mozzarella.

The cumin brings nutty peppery flavor to the mixed greens salad. 

I  get more daring by marinading a pork cutlet in both cumin, ginger and lime juice. The following day, I bring the pork cutlet to work to dine on during my lunch hour.

The employee break room  is filled with a pleasantly exotic aroma of nuttiness..

A simple bowl of  unadorned  sweet corn accompanies the meal.

I do not wish to distract my taste buds from the impending cumin, ginger, and lime flavor explosion which will occur  in my mouth shortly.




Sunday, May 22, 2011

Scheming and Plotting



We  heartily throw ourselves into a psychodramas with the intention of scapegoating someone else for our problems.


Our chosen scapegoat  is so wrapped up in their own dysfunction that they do not notice us chaining ourselves into their psychodrama.  They fail to see how we are scheming and plotting to bring ruination to their reputation. They mistakenly believe that we are helping them through their crisis. Yet, nothing could be further from the truth.

We play up our martyr status to anyone whom will listen. We receive advice from well-meaning people to "flee the psychodrama".

These sage words will enable us to appear saintly whenever we end our association with the scapegoat. Make no mistake, our parting with the scapegoat will not be a gentle departure. No, we will seek to destroy them in whichever way possible.

We will coldly smirk  as their world crumbles around them.

We hold no remorse in our hearts, instead will blame them for their own demise. If only our scapegoat had been more obedient in the first place...none of this would have happened.