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Showing posts from December, 2011

Honesty Monologues: I Am Not Ready To Go There

I am not ready to explore the reasons why I gravitate towards toxic friendships and  dead-end relationships.

There are probably a multitude of reasons that I put up with poor treatment from others.

However, for now, I will continue this painful pattern of not loving myself enough to flee from these emotionally perilous associations.

Freewriting Series: I Am A Star...So Are You!

Showcasing my intelligence isn't a hostile act against you or anyone else.  According to your viewpoint, people are supposed to shuffle around and wait for the world at large to acknowledge their talents. Alas, I don't live in that world.  My self-worth isn't based on empty praise doled out from others. I am not sitting around hoping that someone will finally grant me permission to share my gifts with the world.

You have so much to offer the world and yet your energies are focused on resenting the talents of others. You are not ready to embrace your gifts and so you think that I should hide my light as well.

But, I can't do that because at the end of the day...I am star and so are you.

Let's all act accordingly and call a truce.

Freewriting Series: Holiday Spirit

Today, I had a blast hanging out with my pastor and her family. Her little boys ran me ragged. I played, cleaned, ate, and laughed a lot. This Christmas was one of the best one's I have experienced in recent memory. 
There were a couple of moments when I found myself tearing up at the memory of being pregnant around this time last year. But, then out of nowhere a puzzle piece would fly by my ear or one of the boys needed help getting on a coat and I was jarred back into the present time...where I belong.
Overall, it was a great day and I can't wait until I have a family of my own.  
Merry Christmas!!!

Honesty Monologues: Angels

Angels are all around us. Sometimes, it's difficult to see them because we are so wrapped in our own  daily lives. An angel differs from a hero. A hero is on a journey of understanding and redemption. Rescuing others is part of the debt he/she must pay in order to reach a higher understanding.
Angels don't save others per se, instead they guides us towards our higher purpose. They shine a light and enable us to keep going even during the darkest times.
Below are some suggestions for how we can become angels to those around us:
1. Volunteer at a nursing home or hospice. 2. Organize a book drive for a local community center. 3. Donate materials and sewing supplies to a local theatre company. 4. Support local artists/musicians/writers/actors/dancers by attending their shows and bringing a friend or two. 5. Surprise a struggling college student with a week's worth of groceries. 6. Give a struggling family a gift card to a local store. 7. Donate to a charity which provides prom dresses…

Freewriting Series: Beacons of Light

There is light within all of us no matter what our formal education level, class, race, gender, or socio-economic level. We all have the power to be inspirational beacons for someone else's journey.  Let's make more of a collective effort to build people up instead of tearing them down.

Happy Holidays!

This year has flown by so quickly! I can't believe that Christmas is literally around the corner.
Tomorrow, I am going to be ringing the bell on behalf of the Salvation Army and then on Sunday I am singing during the Children's Christmas Pageant at my church. Throw in some writing, podcasting, an ugly sweater Christmas party and my weekend is the very picture of holiday crazy!
Yet, there is something comforting about all the chaos in my life. Probably, because in the midst of it all I am surrounded by love.

Bougie Girl Classic Essay: The Black Community

 (This post was written over 7 years ago and published on my original Bougie Girl Blog.)

She is a heavier set gal in her late teens possibly early 20’s. She has on a decidedly primly cut navy blue pantsuit on and her demeanor is strictly no-nonsense. She has a small notepad in her hand.

Upon closer inspection the notepad looks to actually be a ticket book. Not unlike the type that police officers carry. She motions toward me for my to approach.
She is furiously scribbling in her ticket book.

When I am a few feet in front of her she extends her hand and gives me a couple of pieces of paper. They are citations for behavior unbecoming to a black woman.

Citation Number one is for actively dating outside of my race. Citation Number two has been issued in relation to the fact that my hair relaxer is not straight enough.
The third and final citation is for not supporting self-appointed leaders of the black community.

“How much are these citations going to cost me?” I said whipping out …

The Good Woman Dialogues

(This is a continuation of Dialogues About Getting It Together.)

Structurally Sound by Bougie Girl Apparel

Bougie Girl:
Hello Maria. How's everything going?

I am good. Life is definitely interesting to say the least.

Bougie Girl:
How so?

Well, I am on somewhat of a speaking basis with Dan. I forgave him for his cowardly behavior in how he broke things off.

Bougie Girl:
That's definitely a step in the right direction.

Yeah, it wasn't easy at first. I was so hurt by how he just up and left without an explanation. I blamed myself for a long time.

Bougie Girl:
Why did you blame yourself?

I thought that if I were needier and more toxic that he would have stayed around. He admitted to me that he was used to dating women whom were anchorweights. That's never going to be me. I can stand on my own and at the same time be supportive of my man.

Bougie Girl:
Do you feel as though Dan just couldn't appreciate that about you?

Dan appreciated it …

Honesty Monologue: This Is What Vulnerability Looks Like...

I am not afraid to tell the world about my heartache, show my triumphs, or share some wisdom which I have picked up along the way. However, I am not going to  wallow in tales of woe or misery in a public forum, because that's just not my style. The truth is that there are people out here in the world whom would love to have my problems.

I complain about my student loans but, there is someone out there whom would have loved the opportunity to graduate from college and attend a  year of  law school. I whine about my crazy hair but, there are plenty of  bald chemotherapy patients whom would love to have their own. I am exhausted from my working OT in my day gig but, in this economy their folks whom would love having even part-time job.

I refuse to apologize for the vast amount of inner strength which I rock on a daily basis. I have earned the right to hold my head up high through trials, unexpected tragedies, and pain which I have experienced.

I am constantly told to show my vulnera…