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Friday, July 31, 2015

Stepping Out Of His Shadow

She stepped out of his shadow and realized that there was a whole new life waiting to be embraced. Sure, the memories that they once shared would always be a part of her but, her soul could not exist on those alone. She was someone outside of him. She always had been but, during her youth she did not know how to assert that part of herself.

Instead, she became an expert at riding his coattails and expecting him to constantly take care of her. Yes, she was emotionally and financially draining. But, not in a malicious way. It was the only way that she knew how to be. For years, she blamed him for leaving her and every bad piece of luck that came her way. It never occurred to her that his absence was an awesome gift that would free her up to finally find her own voice.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Weight Loss with a Side of Natural Hair

Earlier this week, I step out of my apartment and into a torrential rainstorm which rendered my somewhat flat-ironed and flipped hair into a mass of frizzy curls. I spent the following days rockin' a curly fro of sorts. 

The dress that I am wearing in the photo is from Ross Dress For Less and it set me back about $11.00. I love the way in which this dress hugs my curves. It feels as though it was tailored specifically for my body.

The mod style along with the brown wedges (not pictured) and the curly hair made me feel like a 1970's action shero.

"Tell me your name jive turkey...or else."

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Micro-Aggression Fatigue

Living back in the Midwest, I am used to a fair amount of micro-aggression. I am an educated Black woman and an outlier to boot. In other words, it is  difficult for people to put me in a neat little box. However, this does not stop them from trying with all their might to do so.

Sometimes, I hear snide remarks about how many places that I have lived and the different industries in which I have worked. Whenever I fail to rise to the bait, they glance at my ringless left hand and start in about how someone my age will more than likely never get married or raise children.

I will admit that in the past catty remarks about my marital status and lack of children could trigger a reaction out of me. But, now, I turn the conversation to them and inquire about their life and families.

More often than not, this provokes a 10 minute diatribe about how stressful their suburban life is and the struggles that they are having within their respective marriages. For a few moments, I see how unhappy they are with their own life circumstances. Perhaps, how my outlier status is proof that their is another way in which to exist in this world.

Still, these weekly occurrences can wear on my soul.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Interesting Signs...

Today, I received an interesting sign that I will not elaborate on now. But, nevertheless, it has me contemplating the rest of my life.


Friday, July 17, 2015

Flashback Friday: Hot Body, Sad Soul...

This photo is from August 2007. I lived in Southern California and worked for a major film studio. I remember posing for this photo and thinking "I am ready to leave California."

Which is strange because my life on the surface was going so well. Yet, I knew that posting awesome Facebook profile pics every day would eventually get old...and it did. Less than a year later, I was relocating back to Northern New Mexico in search of a deeper fulfillment. Little did I know, that it would not occur until over 4 years later.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

A Peek of Yellow...

My neighborhood is currently in the process of being "renewed". By "renewed", I mean we are getting an influx of millenials and their soon to be retired parents. There are retirement communities popping up alongside hipsterish enclaves. I am excited for the possibilities that this renewal is bringing to the neighborhood.

Yes, the rents will eventually have to go up but, this little slice of heaven deserves some recognition.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Lots Of Irons In My Fire...

The past few months have been hectic in a good way. Years of personal growth, soul searching, and planning have come to fruition. Though, everything is not completely in place yet. I am definitely moving in the right direction.

I know this because the obstacles which were firmly in my way before seem to be stepping aside for me. The Universe seems to have given its blessing to this more evolved path that I am walking. Of course, this is not to say that there will not be challenges along the way.

But, I have learned over the years how not to allow challenges to become permanent barriers. Challenges are meant to guide us in the right direction. Unfortunately,they can occur without prior warning and despite having a solid contingency plan in place. Been there. Done that.

It has only been within the past few years that I have truly learned to embrace the wisdom which can come from challenges and unforeseen delays. A few years ago, several challenges swept into my life and seemed to take up residence. No matter what I did, I could not seem to shake them.

Until one day, I decided to leverage these challenges into advantages. Once, I changed my perspective, slowly things started to open up in my life.  My inner fire slowly started returning.

One by one I tossed an iron into the proverbial fire.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

My Take On The Confederate Flag Debate


I am having so much fun reading debates about the Confederate flag and how it has been "misconstrued" over the years. In addition, those offended by it are being brainwashed by both the "PC police" and "media hype".

Whilst growing up in the SUPER racist town of Topeka, KS and attending college for the first 2 years at Kansas State. I can recall several incidents in which racial slurs were hurled directly at me and those folks doing the hurling were either wearing an article clothing with a Confederate flag or driving a vehicle which had one emblazoned on it.

In fact many of these hostile "exchanges" consisted of the person hurling said racial slurs at me stating things such as "Things would be so much better if the South had one the War. You lazy blacks have no idea how to work hard at anything" etc. Which struck me since, this country was built on the backs of said "lazy Blacks". Yes, I did pose that question to one of the hurlers of racist epitaphs and he did not have a ready answer for me.

Now, I realize only now, that in my haste not to become a victim of a hate crime, I was derelict in my duty to educate said attacker on the true origins of the Confederate flag.

I wish with all of my heart that the folks defending the Confederate Flag in 2015 would have been there with me during my childhood and first 2 years of college (circa 1980's and 1990's) to "educate" these folks.

History is comprised up of all our stories. My story with the Confederate flag consists of racist bigots calling me the N word, being physically attacked, and yes even spit at.

Keep in mind, I was born in 1974. I can only imagine what a person of color born in the 1920's thinks when they see that flag waving. Are they terrible people for being triggered by a symbol which they associate with slavery and Jim Crow?

 It is their history after all.

Sure, people have invoked the American flag to perform all types of atrocities. But, like it or not this is the flag that represents the USA in 2015.

How does Walmart and other retailers discontinuing their sale of the Confederate flag or even its removal from government institutions going to cause a sudden "amnesia" of history?

Slavery has been abolished for over 100 years in this country. I am pretty sure that everyone remembers that it once existed without Black people walking around in chains with whip marks on their backs.

I would like all of the Confederate Flag defenders to feel free to hoist it onto the flagpole in front of your house, affix it to the bumper of your vehicle, and wear it with pride. This is 'Murica after all.
Just realize and respect that this flag holds an entirely different meaning for the people terrorized underneath it.
‪#‎ConfederateFlag‬ ‪#‎history‬ ‪#‎ourstory‬ ‪#‎Murica‬

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Container Box Full Dreams

I envision planting a few container box gardens along our property. Something simple and not too labor intensive. Also, I would love to host a July 4th party there within the next few years.

Friday, July 3, 2015

Take My Idea, Please- Free Community College Program- (Professors) Part Two

I am back with Part Two of my brainstorm about establishing a Free Community College  Program in this country.This installment of the brainstorm will outline how we can find and compensate professors to teach the courses. I am by no means an expert on higher education administration. But, I know that some of the readers out there have the knowledge to refine these concepts into something workable.

I propose that we recruit grad students, adjuncts, experienced professors, and vocational experts to develop and teach classes in the Free Community College Program.

The grad students could teach in exchange of class credit and free room and board for a period up to 3 years including summers.  They would teach on a part-time  (3 classes) basis under the supervision of an experienced professor. Grad students could teach the entry level core classes.

Adjunct professors could teach in exchange of free room and board for a period of up to 5 years. Also, upon completing 3 years of teaching, they could have 25K of their student loans forgiven or apply 12K of it towards the debt of their spouse, child, or immediate family member. They have the option to teach up to 5 classes a semester which can be online or in person. Adjuncts are also free to teach at other institutions as their schedule permits. Adjunct professors could teach both entry level and mid level classes.

Experienced professors could teach in exchange of free room and board for a period of up to 7 years. They are eligible to receive up to 35K of federal government student loan debt forgiven or apply 12K of it towards the debt of their spouse, child, and/or immediate family member.

Vocational experts have at least 10 years of experience working in a particular field of study. These folks could develop and teach the apprenticeship programs which help the students get hands on training within their respective fields. I am not sure how to structure the compensation package  for the vocational experts.

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