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Showing posts from October, 2013

Happy Halloween!

This year I dressed up as Foxxy Brown.

The Main Chick's Lament

The Main Chick's Lament by Bougie Girl Apparel

You are the main chick. The one whom he runs to when he has a falling out with the other members of his harem. They are all clawing over one another for a chance to be in your position. 
From their vantage point, you hold the key to his heart. But, do you really? 
I mean, if he truly cherished you, there would be no need for him to have a harem in the first place. 
In reality, you are nothing more to him than a glorified fallback chick. 
I am challenging you to pick up the remaining tatters of your self-worth and walk away from this toxic situation.

Bougie Girl Problems: Wannabe Bougie Mama

She is staring across the table at me with a mix of amusement and disgust in her eyes. I am benignly polite because she is an elder and his mother. He has made his mark in the world as a lawyer. We met in law school. I dropped out after the 1st year and pursued my MBA instead. To his credit, my husband was supportive of my decision.

His mother feels differently. She thinks that he can do better than my mere middle-class background. Never mind that my husband's pedigree is what could best be described as working poor, both parents dropped out of school in junior high, and she barely knows which fork to use.

Alas, this does not stop her from admonishing him for not marrying into a wealthier family.

We purchased her a charming 3 bedroom, 2 bath cottage in a great neighborhood. Alas, she expected us to buy her a McMansion and reminds us of that fact every day.

 She is demanding that we raise her monthly allowance from $500 to $1,000 and to bankroll her yearly pilgrimage to the Carib…

NaBloPoMo for November 2013

National Blog Posting Month begins November 1, 2013. I participated in this back in 2011 and I had a blast. It was tough to balance out blogging every day with working full-time and juggling my social calendar. Somehow, I made it through...barely.
















Exploring the "Scandal" Love Quadrangle: From Fitz's Point-of-View

I have been married to Mellie for over 20 years. In that time, a lot has happened. My political career took off, we started a family, and I became the most powerful man in the world. We grew apart and that's to be expected during a long marriage. To her credit, Mellie is a wonderful mother and I will always appreciate her massive support of my political career. But, although I have love for Mellie, she does not have my heart...Olivia does.

Bougie Girl Problems: Conflicted Bougie

You feel guilty for the opportunities bestowed upon you. It doesn't help that you are surrounded by those whom did not have those same opportunities. They guilt you into paying for outings, giving them money, hooking them up with your network, and basically handing over the keys to your self-worth.

Each time you resist, they grumble about how you "owe" them both a better today and tomorrow. You tirelessly work on charities which help the poor and less fortunate. But, it does not feel like enough and your "friends" scoff at your "efforts" as they extend their palms for yet another extortion payment.

Maybe some day, you will stand up for yourself and stop apologizing for the hard work of your ancestors.

Dark Energy Has A Crush On Me...

Dark Energy Has A Crush On Me.... by Bougie Girl Apparel

Dark energy has always had a thing for me. Each time, I clear him out of my life...he pops back up as if he never left. I have smudged, burned, meditated, shielded, and thrown his metaphysical furniture onto the lawn. Yet, he takes my outright rejection of him in stride. He smirks with an inner knowing that I cannot fathom.

There are plenty of Lightworkers whom would invite him into their lives without batting an eye. They would willingly let him drain them of all their light and love. Yet, apparently, Mr. Dark Energy relishes a challenge and he continues to follow me around like a light-starved perpetual adolescent.





Exploring the "Scandal" Love Quadrangle: From Mellie's Point-of-View

I am married to the most powerful man in the world. He is in love with someone else. After everything that we have been through together. We share 3 beautiful children and a long history. Despite everything, Fitz would rather throw away our family together and the highest office in the land to be with this other woman. You should see the way that they look at one another. Admittedly, he never looked at me that way...ever.

Dear Newly Minted Couple

Dear Newly Minted Couple,

All around you everyone seems to be on the verge of breaking up. No one seems to care about your cute little anecdotes, inside jokes, or pet names. They are too busy focused on their own crumbly relationships.

Please do not let their troubles poison your newly minted coupledom. New love is a fragile thing which can be unwittingly poisoned by discordant couples orbiting within your solar system.

My advice is to stay in your own cocoon for as long as possible.


Exploring the "Scandal" Love Quadrangle

A few days ago, I was brainstorming ideas for the BougieGirl.com blog, BougieGirlCoaching.com blog, and the Bougie Girl Coaching podcast.

During the brainstorming  session, my mind kept returning to  the ABC drama  "Scandal".

I have always wanted to explore the complex love quadrangle going on between Mellie, Fitz, Olivia, and Jake. For the next few weeks, I am going to both write and podcast about the fascinating, yet dysfunctional dynamic between these four characters.

The BougieGirl.com blog will contain a short monologue from each individual character. The BougieGirlCoaching.com blog and the Bougie Girl Coaching podcast will delve into more of a real world view of the quadrangle.


Fare Thee Well...

Fare thee well to those ideas, relationships, and situations which are no longer serving you. I know that right now you are struggling with this concept. The old toxic way of coping is all you know and all you long for.

Universal Friendship

First comes the tentative friendship with hopes of it turning into something more. Next, comes the relationship filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. The inevitable break up follows and it stretches out over a long period time. Finally, a reconciliation and realization that the healthiest thing for both parties is to dispel any notions of ever getting back together as a couple.