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Showing posts from June, 2012

Honesty Dialogues: An Interview With Nothing Special

NOTHING SPECIAL by Bougie Girl Apparel
(A female television host is sitting in a high backed chair on a stage in front of a live audience. She is interviewing Nothing Special about her life.)

Interviewer:  Today, my guest is Nothing Special. She is best known for her brutally honest take on what it's like to unremarkable. Welcome to the show. (The audience politely applauds.)
Nothing Special: (Smiles) Thanks so much for having me on the show. It's such an honor to be here.
Interviewer: When did you discover that you are Nothing Special?
Nothing Special: I have always known. I accept that people are for the most always going to overlook me.
Interviewer:  (Wincing) How do you cope with this knowledge on  a day-to-day basis?
Nothing Special: Honestly, I play  people against one another and they never seem to figure  it out.
Interviewer: Whoa. That's quite a confession. Aren't you afraid that someone you know could be watching this interview and that your candor could come…

New Series: Honesty Dialogues

Greetings. I am adding another segment to this blog entitled: Honesty Dialogues. Basically, these posts will consist of honest conversations between two people. These dialogues are based on personal observations rather than my own experiences.

Freewriting Series: Farewell to the Enchanted Seaport

In less than a month, I am relocating to a city near my hometown. I left this part of the country back in 1994 without nary a backwards glance. I am nervous, excited, with just a dash of dread for good measure. Living in Newport, RI, I have experienced both the best of times and the worst times.  Things certainly did not turn out the way in which I had planned...not by a long shot. I have spent the past few weeks packing up my apartment, selling furniture, and mentally preparing myself for my departure from this cozy coastal enclave.
Admittedly, there is a part of me which grieves a tiny bit for the way in which things turned out. I have made the conscious choice to not fight the remaining embers of grief. Instead, I am letting the embers burn out of their own volition.
I will miss my weekly walks through the crowded yet, charming alleyways which are the backbone of downtown Newport. Once back in the Midwest, I am certain that I will long for the ocean breezes which blow so liberall…

Bougie Girl In The Kitchen: I Don't Get Paid 'Til Next Week Chicken

Chicken thighs are great for that week in-between pay checks. You can cook them as a stand alone dish or add them to salad and/or pasta dishes.

 I slow cook the chicken over in a medium pan filled with grape seed oil, vegetable broth, lemon juice, cumin, and black pepper for about a total of 2 hours.

 (Please note that I turn the chicken at least twice every 30 minutes during the 2 hour during cooking time.) After the chicken is thoroughly cooked, I sprinkle shredded mozzarella on top of it and let it cool for a few minutes.

Honesty Monologue: Relationship Scorecard

Relationship Scorecard Shirt by Bougie Girl Apparel

It's bottom of the 9th, Team Nostalgia has been outplaying you since the top of the 5th.
This game, like the relationship started out so promising. You were given assurances by General Management aka your significant other that Team Nostalgia  could not compete against the powerhouse that is Team You. 
Of course, General Management wasn't being all that forthright with you. In fact, General Management is secretly rooting for Team Nostalgia to clobber you. It makes easier on his ego if Team Nostalgia wins. He's been trying to justify his prior bad judgement so each time Team Nostalgia hits a homer he feels as though perhaps she wasn't so bad after all.
Now, before you hit the showers all dejected and depressed. Please note that you are not the first  to  get the snot beat out of you by Team Nostalgia. No, you are simply that latest one to get shut out.  
The deck is perpetually stacked against the guest team of the game.  W…

Freewriting Series: Hurricane: (Insert Name Here)

Hurricane: (Insert Name Here) by Bougie Girl Apparel

He breezes in making tons of promises which he fully intends to never fulfill. She is always "trying" to do better but, these feeble efforts are only put into motion when she senses that you are about to dump her.

Human Hurricanes have no concept of the pain which they are raining down onto others. Or perhaps they do but, the winds of their dysfunction are too strong to prevent them from taking the feelings of someone else into consideration.
Human Hurricanes unleash ridiculousness and strife wherever they go.  Whenever someone confronts them on their BS, they take their histrionic fits, manipulative behavior, and outright deception on an extended road tour of sorts. Alas, they return the following season and attempt to use new and inventive BS to worm their way back into your life.

When  dealing with Human Hurricanes,  remember to batten down the hatches of your home and hearth. Also, be sure to evacuate the area until th…

Honesty Monologues: I Am A Black Hole of Emotional Emptiness

I Am A Black Hole Of Emotional Emptiness by Bougie Girl Apparel

I love the way that you keep trying to "heal" my empty soul. The women whom I usually deal with are more concerned with how I can benefit them. This is fine with me because I am bringin' a whole lotta crazy to the table. The opportunistic ladies of the world see me for who I am and they are alright with long as I can properly compensate them for their time.

These associations only last for  six months to a year...or until something better comes along for me. I throw a few dollars at them, a trinket or two, and then I walk away without looking back. There have been times when a lady has not appreciated being dumped by the proverbial side of the road by me. Over time, they get over it.

 Occasionally, down the road, I may revisit some of the clingier ladies in my stable. I romance them for a couple of weeks and then promptly disappear. I am off to the next conquest. How can I be so callous and cold? Wel…

Honesty Monologues: Always Around, Never There

Always Around...Never There by Bougie Girl Apparel

He  trots out the old photo album from our teens and early 20's.  In  the background "our song" is playing on the stereo. He is hoping that these actions will cause me to forget the many years of pain that we have both caused one another.
These nostalgic flourishes are designed to mask  the toxicity which comprises our relationship.
A part of me wants to give into the nostalgia and take him back one last time. We've been together in a dysfunctional dance of break up to make up for so long that we don't really know anything else. 
After each break up we  swear that it is the last time that we will reunite.  Yet, here I am sitting on his couch listening to his sales pitch for why we belong together.
We have spent far too many years, paging through this  tattered photo album and listening to our old song.
Yet, tonight is different. I am listening to the song with fresh ears. The bittersweet lyrics which used to mak…