Skip to main content

Ten Monologues For Women: Monologue #7-Morning Patrol

I knew the risks going into it. But, of course nothing really prepared me for the phone call and the in-person visit. I had so many questions. How did it happen? Was he alone? 

The kids are crying because they can sense my pain and sadness I struggled to hold it together.  This is not what I signed up for…alright maybe it is. But, he promised that he would be careful.

Why did he have to break that promise? 

I should have married that nice teacher. My mom warned me that being a Marine wife was not all rah-rah.  She should know. My  father was in the Marines for 20 years. I remember my mother glued to the 24/7 news stations with a bottle of Jim Beam clutched in her hands.

I swore to myself that I didn’t want that kind of life.

 So, I avoided military men at all costs. 

But, I ended up falling in love with one anyway.

 I fought it and to his credit Randy understood my reservations about being a Marine wife.

 Of course, he still pursued me relentlessly.  Two years later, I accepted his marriage proposal.
We were 24 years old when we got married.

 It seems like a lifetime ago. In reality, it was about 15 years ago.

We agreed that I would get a nursing degree so that I could work anywhere. He was only going to stay in for 8 years and then he was going to get his MBA and work in Corporate America.

 But, it didn’t exactly happen that way.  9/11 caused him to change his mind.

Shortly after 9/11, Randy informed  me that he wasn’t going to be able to honor our original deal. He said he wanted to become career military. He  felt that he owed it those people who died on 9/11.

There I was… pregnant with our second child.

I felt as though he owed it to me to hold up his end of the bargain.

 In the brief moments  after his huge proclamation, I understood exactly why my mother was often clutching a bottle of Jim Beam.

I recalled turning to other Marine wives for support. Some of them were in the same boat as me. 9/11 had created an unspoken tension in their marriages as well.  They too, had watched in helpless confusion as their loving husbands turn into virtual strangers hyped up on vengeance and hatred for an unseen enemy.

They wouldn’t give me too many details about his death. They said that his unit came under attack during a morning patrol.  He was killed instantly. I don’t buy it. Something more happened but, that’s the military for you.

My kids have completely changed. They don’t want to let me outta their sight.  I don’t blame them. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose your parent during childhood.  I joined one of those War Widows support group and it helps a lot.

It’s been 3 years and it’s still hard to move on. My friends and family are trying to be patient but, I can tell they want the old me to come back. They want me to become the woman that they remember.
They don’t seem to understand that she died along with Randy during his morning patrol.


Popular posts from this blog

Divatosity: Writer's Nook Envy

I am in the process of creating a Writer's Nook for my townhouse. This task is so  Gen X/hipstery that I feel a little sheepish about even blogging about it. Yet, it must be mentioned because this simple task has turned into a huge undertaking.

My new townhouse has a spacious basement which upon first glance seemed like a great place to set up an office and a workshop. Setting up the work table and supplies went pretty smoothly.

However, the drafty basement has proved to be a not so great location for my writer's nook. Also, it is a windowless space which after awhile made me feel as though I was in some sort of lock down situation.

So, I moved my writer's nook upstairs and this space is definitely more conducive for working. Though, my makeshift printer tables pushed together a long with the dining room chair screams "first apartment out of college chic".

At age 41, I would like to move past that decor and into something a lot more sophisticated.

Alas, cash flo…

Lots Of Irons In My Fire...

The past few months have been hectic in a good way. Years of personal growth, soul searching, and planning have come to fruition. Though, everything is not completely in place yet. I am definitely moving in the right direction.

I know this because the obstacles which were firmly in my way before seem to be stepping aside for me. The Universe seems to have given its blessing to this more evolved path that I am walking. Of course, this is not to say that there will not be challenges along the way.

But, I have learned over the years how not to allow challenges to become permanent barriers. Challenges are meant to guide us in the right direction. Unfortunately,they can occur without prior warning and despite having a solid contingency plan in place. Been there. Done that.

It has only been within the past few years that I have truly learned to embrace the wisdom which can come from challenges and unforeseen delays. A few years ago, several challenges swept into my life and seemed to take …

I am a bougie girl: New Beginnings....

New beginnings require a tranquil mind and a determined spirit.