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Ten Monologues For Women: Monologue #3-Patch of Dandelions

It’s a sunny May morning and surprisingly the wind is almost non-existent. Usually, the May breezes in Western Kansas can be unrelenting. This is the main reason why a majority of events around here are held indoors.  

Today,  however there is no wind. It is the perfect day for an outdoor gathering. We don’t get many of those at all ‘round here. I can see Jacob pulling up into the parking lot. Kari is four and Mario is six. I want  so badly to run up and comfort them but, that my be kinda awkward for them since I am dead and all. Yeah, you heard me.

  I am dead. I died a few days ago. I was involved in a car accident with a Judge Donnelly. He’s known for being a world-class drunk river. He broadsided me while I was on my way home from Bible study. I should have taken the long way home on route 12 but, I was in a hurry.  I wonder  whether the kids are feeling better. Kari looks so frail and Mario doesn’t look like he is really comprehending everything that is  going on.

It’s funny how mothering instincts stay with you even into the afterlife. Jacob looks tired and he’s probably blaming himself.  See, he always told me to take route 12 instead of cuttin’ through town. Our town while not a thriving metropolis is infamous for having four taverns on Main Street in town. There is at least one collision a night on Main Street.  Of course, I drove on Main for over 20 years without incident. I thought that being anointed by the Lord would be enough to keep me safe.  It just wasn’t the case this time.

I mean God had gotten me through so much. I almost died giving birth to Mario. Yet, two years later I had Kari without any incident. When Jacob started takin’ up with the local waitress at Billy’s Diner. The Lord saw fit that she met someone else’s husband and ran off to Vegas with him.

Jacob was heartbroken that he had to return to the land of reality with me and the kids. He moped around for a good three months before setting his sights on someone else. Now, before y’all start judging…Jacob is a fine man. He’s a great dad and he wasn’t the worst husband in the world. But, he has a tendency to live in a dream world.He wanted to be a world famous guitar player.

 And to his credit, he’s actually plays kinda good.  But, this town doesn’t exactly have a thriving music scene. In order to get in traction, he was gonna have to move to Kansas City or even Denver. 
And Jacob’s not cut out for big city life.  He stayed in town and got his degree in business and joined his father in the insurance business.  He makes a good enough living. I am, er-- was a Dental Assistant. I dropped down to working part-time after the kids were born. Made it easier to manage the carpool.

See, that patch of dandelions over there? That’s where Jacob proposed to me.Yep, I was proposed to in a cemetary. But, it was kinda of romantic. Both sets of our grandparents are buried here. Lots of couples picnic out here cuz, it’s peaceful. Plus,there’s lots of privacy…if you know what I mean.


I loved Jacob and I believe he loved me as much as he was able. We didn’t have a bad life together. Sometimes, folks just grow apart.

Oh my, I have been running my mouth for so long that I forgot that the funerals around here start promptly.  They fill up fast and I want to get a good seat.


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