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Showing posts from July, 2015

i am a bougie girl: Stepping Out Of His Shadow

She stepped out of his shadow and realized that there was a whole new life waiting to be embraced. Sure, the memories that they once shared would always be a part of her but, her soul could not exist on those alone. She was someone outside of him. She always had been but, during her youth she did not know how to assert that part of herself.

Instead, she became an expert at riding his coattails and expecting him to constantly take care of her. Yes, she was emotionally and financially draining. But, not in a malicious way. It was the only way that she knew how to be. For years, she blamed him for leaving her and every bad piece of luck that came her way. It never occurred to her that his absence was an awesome gift that would free her up to finally find her own voice.

Hometown Nomad: Curb Appeal and House Renovation

Go slow. That is what everyone keeps advising us to do. Alas, there is so much that needs to be done on the old homestead and a majority of it requires money.

We want to barrel through our property with reckless abandon. Slapping up flourishes of white primer to cover up the patches of rotten wood and uneven plaster. My caretaker is a practical person and thinks that our  quest to improve the property's curb appeal via white primer and decorative touches is a colossal waste of money.

But, it gives us peace of mind and a measure of control. Plus, it really does improve the look of the property from the road.  It is easy to become overwhelmed during the initial stages of rehabbing a property. You will spend too much money trying to hurry the process along or waste time getting caught up in minute details.

And do not even get me started on the phenomenon of paralysis via calculator. This occurs when you begin to casually add up how much a month it will cost you to maintain the grounds, …

Divatosity: Work Appropriate Fashion On Hot Summer Days

Today is gonna be another scorcher. My paid for car has air-conditioning but, it only works well on the highway. Alas, my commute lacks highways and proper air conditioning. The poncho blouse pictured here offers a workable solution for my not so cool commute. The fabric is lightweight and I wear a dark blue tank top underneath which allows my skin to breathe.

I pair this top with khaki pants, brown wedge sandals, gold hoop earrings, and an over-sized brown or tan handbag.

 Instantly, I have a work appropriate outfit which will not result in me melting during my commute.

i am a bougie girl: Weight Loss with a Side of Natural Hair

Earlier this week, I step out of my apartment and into a torrential rainstorm which rendered my somewhat flat-ironed and flipped hair into a mass of frizzy curls. I spent the following days rockin' a curly fro of sorts. 

The dress that I am wearing in the photo is from Ross Dress For Less and it set me back about $11.00. I love the way in which this dress hugs my curves. It feels as though it was tailored specifically for my body.
The mod style along with the brown wedges (not pictured) and the curly hair made me feel like a 1970's action shero.
"Tell me your name jive turkey...or else."

i am a bougie girl: Micro-Aggression Fatigue

Living back in the Midwest, I am used to a fair amount of micro-aggression. I am an educated Black woman and an outlier to boot. In other words, it is  difficult for people to put me in a neat little box. However, this does not stop them from trying with all their might to do so.

Sometimes, I hear snide remarks about how many places that I have lived and the different industries in which I have worked. Whenever I fail to rise to the bait, they glance at my ringless left hand and start in about how someone my age will more than likely never get married or raise children.

I will admit that in the past catty remarks about my marital status and lack of children could trigger a reaction out of me. But, now, I turn the conversation to them and inquire about their life and families.

More often than not, this provokes a 10 minute diatribe about how stressful their suburban life is and the struggles that they are having within their respective marriages. For a few moments, I see how unhappy t…

Interesting Signs...

Today, I received an interesting sign that I will not elaborate on now. But, nevertheless, it has me contemplating the rest of my life.

Flashback Friday: Hot Body, Sad Soul...

This photo is from August 2007. I lived in Southern California and worked for a major film studio. I remember posing for this photo and thinking "I am ready to leave California."

Which is strange because my life on the surface was going so well. Yet, I knew that posting awesome Facebook profile pics every day would eventually get old...and it did. Less than a year later, I was relocating back to Northern New Mexico in search of a deeper fulfillment. Little did I know, that it would not occur until over 4 years later.

A Peek of Yellow...

My neighborhood is currently in the process of being "renewed". By "renewed", I mean we are getting an influx of millenials and their soon to be retired parents. There are retirement communities popping up alongside hipsterish enclaves. I am excited for the possibilities that this renewal is bringing to the neighborhood.

Yes, the rents will eventually have to go up but, this little slice of heaven deserves some recognition.

Lots Of Irons In My Fire...

The past few months have been hectic in a good way. Years of personal growth, soul searching, and planning have come to fruition. Though, everything is not completely in place yet. I am definitely moving in the right direction.

I know this because the obstacles which were firmly in my way before seem to be stepping aside for me. The Universe seems to have given its blessing to this more evolved path that I am walking. Of course, this is not to say that there will not be challenges along the way.

But, I have learned over the years how not to allow challenges to become permanent barriers. Challenges are meant to guide us in the right direction. Unfortunately,they can occur without prior warning and despite having a solid contingency plan in place. Been there. Done that.

It has only been within the past few years that I have truly learned to embrace the wisdom which can come from challenges and unforeseen delays. A few years ago, several challenges swept into my life and seemed to take …

My Take On The Confederate Flag Debate


I am having so much fun reading debates about the Confederate flag and how it has been "misconstrued" over the years. In addition, those offended by it are being brainwashed by both the "PC police" and "media hype".

Whilst growing up in the SUPER racist town of Topeka, KS and attending college for the first 2 years at Kansas State. I can recall several incidents in which racial slurs were hurled directly at me and those folks doing the hurling were either wearing an article clothing with a Confederate flag or driving a vehicle which had one emblazoned on it.

In fact many of these hostile "exchanges" consisted of the person hurling said racial slurs at me stating things such as "Things would be so much better if the South had one the War. You lazy blacks have no idea how to work hard at anything" etc. Which struck me since, this country was built on the backs of said "lazy Bla…

Container Box Full Dreams

I envision planting a few container box gardens along our property. Something simple and not too labor intensive. Also, I would love to host a July 4th party there within the next few years.

Take My Idea, Please- Free Community College Program- (Professors) Part Two

I am back with Part Two of my brainstorm about establishing a Free Community College  Program in this country.This installment of the brainstorm will outline how we can find and compensate professors to teach the courses. I am by no means an expert on higher education administration. But, I know that some of the readers out there have the knowledge to refine these concepts into something workable.