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Mental Lens

I used to have  mental lens that filtered out all of the bad and focused solely on the positives of any given situation. I was the Queen of Selective Memory. She might have attempted to destroy my career but, that was a long time ago...people change. Or he may have lied about the fact that he was cheating on me with his on again off again Ex but, he promised me that he was completely done with her. Why would he lie to me again?

Unfortunately, the list goes on and on of times where I conveniently glanced the other way. I wish that I could blame this "selective memory" on low self-worth or a bad childhood. However, the simple fact is that breakups, quitting jobs, leaving friendships is a messy business. I just really could not be bothered to end situations...even toxic ones. Instead, I just waited for the other person to flame out and leave. Of course, I shed tears and wondered aloud to friends about "why they would leave me?".

Yet,  I felt relieved that I did not have to be the one to walk out of the situation.


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