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Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Part Of Your Wolfpack


Part Of Your Wolfpack
Part Of Your Wolfpack by Bougie Girl Apparel

Some days I long to be part of your inner circle. From the outside your wolfpack seems cozy and inviting. Of course, the price to join is very high. All  members must be willing to look the other way with regard to your multitude of transgressions. They also are advised to create and maintain a facade of congeniality at all times.

 

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Soul Conversations Series: Healing Mantra For Karmic Relationships







Karmic relationships are something that we all will have to deal with at some point in our lives. They can be painful but, at the same time change our lives for the better. Sometimes, a karmic relationship progresses into a full blown love affair, marriage, and even children. However, that doesn't mean that the relationship is destined to last forever.

In the previous dialogue between Soul #1 and Soul #2, the couple had a karmic tie to one another.
It is possible that they would have gotten married and produced children together. However, I felt as their Soul Mediator that this turn of events would have been destructive in the long run for both of them.

After the session, I gave Soul #2 the following mantra to repeat whenever she felt the pull to let Soul #1 back in her life.

"Soul #1 did you favor. He is not worthy of your love. He doesn't know how to be with you. In the long run, you are better off without him in your life."

How well this mantra works is up to Soul #2.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Soul Conversations Series: Switch Flipping



Soul #1 is a switch flipper. In other words, his love, attention, respect, flips on like a switch. He flits all over the place constantly in search of something new and exciting. He is unable to develop his own inner light. He hops from relationship to relationship as a way to sustain his life force. The kicker is that he cannot communicate in a healthy manner. He chooses to play games instead. Now, eventually this game playing makes him feel empty and when this occurs he sets up house with Soul #2.

Now, that Soul #2 has made the pledge to never take him back. He is feeling out of sorts and looking for a stable place to land after his current relationship goes off the rails. He doesn't see anything wrong with how he is treating her. Soul #1 does want a life long relationship with Soul #2 but, lacks the maturity to do so.




Friday, April 18, 2014

Soul Conversations Series: Marshall The Courage To Move On...



Soul Mediator:
Over the years, Soul #2 has struggled to move on from Soul #1.  But, as I see it wasn't Soul #1 per se, but the hopes and dreams which she associated with him. Once, she realized that she could have the family that she wanted without him. She began to see the relationship for what it was. A karmic lesson for her not meant to be a lifetime relationship. She had learned all she could from Soul #2. Their energy was no longer bonded in the same way. It is up to Soul #2 to marshall the courage to move on.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Soul Conversations Series: Dialogue with Soul #1






Soul Mediator:
I am here with Soul #1. Several months have past since the joint session with Soul #2. Last week, Soul #1 reached out to me and asked for a one on one session. Below is the dialogue between us.


Soul Mediator:
It been awhile. How are things?

Soul #1:
Things are better in some ways but, in others they are worse.

Soul Mediator:
Care to elaborate?

Soul #1:
Sure. So, the woman whom I left Soul #2 for is pressing me for marriage. I want to get married but, not to her. I want Soul #2 back and I think that I am ready to be with her this time.

Soul Mediator:
That's a closed door. Soul #2 has moved on with her life.

Soul #1:
I know and the woman I am with is a great lady but,  she is not the one for me.

Soul Mediator:
Do you think that Soul #2 is really the woman for you or is she just a pleasant placeholder?

Soul #1:
No, she was never a placeholder to me. I just didn't know how to be with her. She put her whole heart and soul into staying with me. I kept screwing it up and killing her trust.

Soul Mediator:
I think that you are not meant to be with one another. Your destructive behavior towards her was darkening her aura and she was beginning to transform into a negative person. Her love for you was destroying her bit by bit.

Soul #1:
What should I do? I don't want to lose Soul #2 forever. The thought of never talking to her again makes me feel so anxious and out of sorts.

Soul Mediator:
Fight through it. Soul #2 is not your savior. She is a woman whom deserves more than what you had to offer. Let her go.

Soul #1:
Believe me, I am trying. I wish there was a way that we could make this work.

Soul Mediator:
Barring a radical lasting change on your part, I am not very optimistic about it working out long-term.



Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Soul Conversations Series: Reconciliation Gone Awry








This case was troubling to me. Basically, there were 2 souls whom had spent lifetimes loving each other and yet could not seem to stay together long-term. Soul #1 was entirely too toxic for Soul #2. This saddened Soul #2 because they dearly loved Soul #1. Yet, the innate survival instinct of Soul #2 was greater than their desire to be in a relationship with Soul #1.

However, Soul #1 often returned to Soul #2 with empty promises and hidden agendas. Soul #1 knew how to manipulate the feelings of Soul #2 and that's just what he did. Soul #2 came to me desperate to understand why she was still susceptible to Soul #1's lies and deceptions. As expected, Soul #1 was not interested in attending these sessions. He didn't see how his hot and cold behavior was adversely affecting Soul #2. Most recently, Soul #1's desire to reconcile the relationship between Soul #2 and then his hasty exit a few months later.




Soul Mediator:
We are here in this session to discuss the most recent incident between you two. A reconciliation which has gone awry. I am going to ask Soul #2 to briefly describe the course of her relationship with Soul #2.

Soul #2:
Thanks so much for seeing us today. Okay, well, basically we get along great when we are together. We have this electric connection which transcends basic attraction. We really understand one another. Which is why his sudden inexplicable exits are so hurtful. I understand him fleeing, if we fought all of the time or there was no attraction whatsoever between us. But, that's not the case. It's always him coming back and making all of these empty promises and then fleeing when it's time to make good on them. This last time, it turned out he left to go be in a relationship with another woman. No explanation. He just disappears into the ether. Technically this is the third time that he has done this and I have made the decision that I don't want him back. It hurts too much to love him and it wears on me. I keep wondering what's wrong with me that he won't stay or at the very least talk to me when he is feeling the need to flee.

Soul Mediator:
I imagine that would be a rough state to be in.

Soul #2:
It is. I don't want to be with someone whom I have to walk on eggshells with all of the time or live in constant fear that they are gonna just walk out again without a word.

Soul Mediator:
Completely understandable. Now, Soul #1, I am going to give you the opportunity to respond to what Soul #2 has said.

Soul #1:
She is a wonderful woman and she deserves the absolute best in life. This woman has treated me like gold, believed in me when no one else did, and been my rock. I do love her more than she will ever know. But, the fact of the matter is that I don't know how to be the man she needs. Being in a relationship with her stretches me in a good way. But, it's exhausting because before she came into my life, I never knew that love could be a quiet source of strength. Before it was all screaming matches, disrespect, and psychodrama.  Being with her overwhelms me feelings of invincibility. I keep waiting for the crash but, it never happens with her. I start to worry that I will be the one to disappoint her with my inadequacies and insecurities. I just can't bear to ever see her disappointed in me.

Soul Mediator:
Outside of your fleeing the relationship, do you think that you have disappointed her in a major way?

Soul #1:
I don't know. But, I am sure that I eventually will. So, why hang around for that to happen?

Soul Mediator:
Why not leave and just stay gone?

Soul #1:
Because I can't stay away from her. She is so full of life and light that my inner core craves her like a drug.

Soul Mediator:
You are coming back to get your fill of her and then you take those good feelings and spend them with other women. Is that correct?

Soul #1:
Yeah. I mean when you say it like that I come across as a total user. It's not my intention to use her like that.

Soul Mediator:
What was going through your head during this last reconciliation attempt?

Soul #1:
I felt like it was going to work this time. I had done enough personal growth that I wouldn't bolt. There was other woman that I met at a going away party right before I got back with Soul #2. This other woman is younger and naive about the world. She is sweet and she was hanging on my every word. But, all I could think of was Soul #2 and how the kind of love that I have for her is once in a lifetime. I exchanged numbers with the other woman but, I never called her. A couple of weeks ago she calls me out of the blue and here I am all in this blissful state from Soul #2's love. I thought it's a harmless coffee outing but, sparks kind of flew. I started to think that I could have a legitimate fresh start with the other woman. She has no idea about my past. Soul #2 in the long run would be better off without me causing her so much sadness.

Soul Mediator:
How did you break it off with Soul #2?

Soul #1:
I stopped responding to all communication. I blocked her number and email. I just focused on the other woman and my fresh start.

Soul Mediator:
How is the fresh start going?

Soul #1:
It's rocky because we aren't being 100% authentic with each other. I realize that I need the love of Soul #2 so badly right now. I feel like I am jonesin' for her.

Soul Mediator:
Does the other woman know about your relationship with Soul #2?

Soul #1:
No. She is too busy thinking that I hang the moon.

Soul Mediator:
Soul #2, I hope that you are listening carefully. He has basically admitted that he is getting a high off of the love that you have for him. Which means that he will never be able to stay in a healthy relationship with you or anyone for that matter. This has nothing to do with your worth as person. You two do not need to be in a relationship of any kind with one another. It is too unhealthy for the both of you. My suggestion is that you both stay away from one another.

Soul #2:
I agree. I don't want to keep putting my life on hold with a heart full of hope that he will come back to stay.

Soul #1:
I am so sorry about how I have treated you. If I could take it all back. I would.

Soul#2:
Just stay away from me.

Soul Mediator:
These matters are not always easy to navigate because I believe that you both love one another and under different circumstances you could be very happy together. But, those circumstances do not exist for either of you. You are definitely better off apart.




Monday, April 7, 2014

Soul Conversations Series







Souls often need to communicate with one another. Sometimes, they reach out via dreams or signs in the Universe. However, there are instances when the only way in which they can effectively communicate is through a neutral 3rd Party. Enter the Soul Mediator. The Soul Mediator helps both souls work through their differences so that they can overcome their conflict.


Saturday, April 5, 2014

Empty Promises And Grand Gestures Which Go Nowhere...


Empty Promises And Grand Gestures Which Go Nowhere
Empty Promises And Grand Gestures Which Go Nowhere by BougieGirl1

He has been promising you the world and yet never quite delivers. In his heart, he wants to be the man you need him to be. You both know it. Perhaps, that is the reason why you have held  so much space for him over the years. But, now you have made the conscious decision to fill that space with someone whose love is less about grand gestures and more about authentic actions.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Bougie Girl Apparel: Proud Mayor of Cray-Crayville


Proud Mayor Of Cray-Crayville
Proud Mayor Of Cray-Crayville by Bougie Girl Apparel

Sometimes, I can act a little nutso. I take things out of context, stir up drama, alienate loved ones, and leave a big mess in my wake. It's all in a days work for me. Just know, that you better not ever call me out, cross me, or otherwise get in my way. Remember, I didn't become the Mayor of Cray-Crayville by accident. 

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