Bougie Girl: Courtship Essays-Wait For It...

You dream of that special courtship which will lead to something more than a long-term relationship and/or marriage. You are more concerned with having a safe place to land versus a superficial coupling born out fear and sustained out of obligation. Sometimes, you think that you must be asking too much of the Universe.

Why can’t you just be content with settling for a relationship which requires you to obliterate your own uniqueness for the sake of peace?

For years, you seem to be stuck in a cycle of broken relationships. These relationships start off great but, slowly die because the other party becomes insistent that you have to “work on” the very traits which attracted them to you in the first place.

You have tried pointing the irony out to the other party but, are met with a blank stare or blatant hostility aimed squarely at all of your vulnerabilities. 

This tactic is designed to quiet you.

Instead, it has the complete opposite effect and you flee the relationship without nary a backward glance.

 

You will spend almost two decades cycling through these types of relationships. 

One day, someone comes along and offers more than a place to park your time and energy.  

Slowly, you get to know them and things start to click into place. You spend time getting to know one another without the outside pressures of a timeline of an impending engagement.

There is an element of loyalty in this relationship that does not smother or infringe upon the freedom of your soul.  

A few years ago, the concept of a slow courtship would have annoyed you to no end. But, wisdom and maturity have set in and you can see the advantages of going slower.

You have an appreciation for love unfold versus rushing it across the finish line.