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Saturday, June 18, 2016

Bougie Girl: The Final Conversation Which Ultimately Leads to Clarity

It’s 2 am and you  are in the midst of another round of hurling blame onto one another for your  failed (many times over) relationship. He claims to have moved onto someone else and yet, he is still texting you recriminations about a long ago disagreement which you can no longer remember.

It is his way of holding onto the last smoky wisps of a dysfunctional association which at its best could be considered a life lesson and at its worst, a visit from the Karmic Relationships Fairy.
The first couple of times that he reached out to post-relationship it was fun to catch up with him. The ever present electricity between the both of you still crackled. 

However, after a few months, you went back to your own respective existences without any animosity.

Seven years later, he is not as jovial with you. Instead, his words are mean and dismissive. He goes on a tirade of assigning the failure of the relationship solely to you. At first you take the bait and begin rehashing the lowlights of your time together.
After a week long text war, it occurs to you that he is using  manufactured discord to bind you closer to him.

Even after you realize his true motivations, you still find yourself participating in the drama. Perhaps, it is a way for both of you to kill any lingering wistful feelings about a reconciliation.

In the midst of your anger, you begin to feel sorry for his current ladylove who probably has no idea that he has been spending WAY too much time arguing with you about a past that cannot be changed.

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