Skip to main content

Breakup Essays: Essay #8 Dumper's Remorse

            You are and will always be the woman of my dreams. What can I say? I blew it. Things got rocky due to events from my past leaking into our relationship. Instead of manning up and handling it…I dumped you.
Immediately, I regretted my actions but, I was too stubborn to admit to being wrong. Besides, I was in a bad place in my life. I like to think that I was sparing you additional pain. Yet, I could have sat down and told you about the toxic Ex whom still haunted my dreams. The many ways in which I had tried for years to leave this Ex alone but, I couldn’t seem to stay away.
My family tried everything to get me away from the Toxic Ex. Yet, I still ran back to crazy fighting, awesome makeup sex, but, ultimate misery of that relationship.
We both sat there pretending that we were lifetime loves but, knowing that every moment spent with one another was empty and unfulfilling.
After I dumped you and went back to her, it was like night and day. Sure, I did not have to be evolved in her presence. She was perfectly content with not really speaking to me except to complain or correct my behavior.
Each day that passed by made me realize how much I missed you and all the regret I have for how I treated you. I know that I don’t deserve a second chance from you at all. I just wanted you to know that I will always wonder how our lives would have turned out had we not broken up.
I miss your Sunday breakfasts, random show tunes sing-a-longs, evening strolls, holding your hand, how you look in and out of a sundress, and our political debates. You are once in a lifetime type of woman and I hope that you never forget that.
I apologize for not being the man that you deserved.


Popular posts from this blog

Divatosity: Writer's Nook Envy

I am in the process of creating a Writer's Nook for my townhouse. This task is so  Gen X/hipstery that I feel a little sheepish about even blogging about it. Yet, it must be mentioned because this simple task has turned into a huge undertaking.

My new townhouse has a spacious basement which upon first glance seemed like a great place to set up an office and a workshop. Setting up the work table and supplies went pretty smoothly.

However, the drafty basement has proved to be a not so great location for my writer's nook. Also, it is a windowless space which after awhile made me feel as though I was in some sort of lock down situation.

So, I moved my writer's nook upstairs and this space is definitely more conducive for working. Though, my makeshift printer tables pushed together a long with the dining room chair screams "first apartment out of college chic".

At age 41, I would like to move past that decor and into something a lot more sophisticated.

Alas, cash flo…

Lots Of Irons In My Fire...

The past few months have been hectic in a good way. Years of personal growth, soul searching, and planning have come to fruition. Though, everything is not completely in place yet. I am definitely moving in the right direction.

I know this because the obstacles which were firmly in my way before seem to be stepping aside for me. The Universe seems to have given its blessing to this more evolved path that I am walking. Of course, this is not to say that there will not be challenges along the way.

But, I have learned over the years how not to allow challenges to become permanent barriers. Challenges are meant to guide us in the right direction. Unfortunately,they can occur without prior warning and despite having a solid contingency plan in place. Been there. Done that.

It has only been within the past few years that I have truly learned to embrace the wisdom which can come from challenges and unforeseen delays. A few years ago, several challenges swept into my life and seemed to take …

I am a bougie girl: New Beginnings....

New beginnings require a tranquil mind and a determined spirit.