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Breakup Essays: Essay #8 Dumper's Remorse





            You are and will always be the woman of my dreams. What can I say? I blew it. Things got rocky due to events from my past leaking into our relationship. Instead of manning up and handling it…I dumped you.
Immediately, I regretted my actions but, I was too stubborn to admit to being wrong. Besides, I was in a bad place in my life. I like to think that I was sparing you additional pain. Yet, I could have sat down and told you about the toxic Ex whom still haunted my dreams. The many ways in which I had tried for years to leave this Ex alone but, I couldn’t seem to stay away.
My family tried everything to get me away from the Toxic Ex. Yet, I still ran back to crazy fighting, awesome makeup sex, but, ultimate misery of that relationship.
We both sat there pretending that we were lifetime loves but, knowing that every moment spent with one another was empty and unfulfilling.
After I dumped you and went back to her, it was like night and day. Sure, I did not have to be evolved in her presence. She was perfectly content with not really speaking to me except to complain or correct my behavior.
Each day that passed by made me realize how much I missed you and all the regret I have for how I treated you. I know that I don’t deserve a second chance from you at all. I just wanted you to know that I will always wonder how our lives would have turned out had we not broken up.
I miss your Sunday breakfasts, random show tunes sing-a-longs, evening strolls, holding your hand, how you look in and out of a sundress, and our political debates. You are once in a lifetime type of woman and I hope that you never forget that.
I apologize for not being the man that you deserved.

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