Skip to main content

Breakup Essays-Breakup #9 Choosing Sides After A Breakup




How do you choose sides after a breakup? How should friends, family, objects, and even places be equitably divided? One school of thought is that you leave the relationship with who and what you came into it with. But, what if there are kids or pets whom have grown attached to both sides of each family? How should things work out then? Do you get to keep the gym membership? Can you still follow/friend the Ex’s family on social media even after you begin dating again? How do you divide up mutual friends aka people we met as a couple? Do they automatically go to the person initiating the breakup?
It never occurs to you during the wedding ceremony to even ponder what your divorce will look like. You really go into thinking that it is forever. All of your friends and family will just magically merge with one another and it will be that way until the day you die.
You never think that eleven years from now, you will be packing up your stuff and moving out of the home which you worked so hard to buy. Now, all of those suppers of mac and cheese seem to have been wasted on your marriage. If you had only known…
Why couldn’t he accept the positive changes in you? Is it so wrong that you wanted to lose that 25 pounds of extra baby weight which you have carried around with you for the past decade? Apparently, in his eyes it was an unforgivable crime. He punished your dastardly deed by ignoring you completely.
But, you were no picnic either. You pushed him to make more money and he did. Then, you complained that he was never home. He could not seem to make you happy no matter what he did. You kept trying to improve him for the better. Instead of just loving the man you married.
He is going to move on and be remarried in the span of a few years. You suspect that he has a crush on the bubbly woman whom owns the coffee cart in front of the office where he works. She is a 40ish widow with grown children off at college.
Everyone loves her. Heck, you even think that she is a great lady. Better suited for your soon to be ex-husband than you are. No, you will spend the rest of your living days an embittered divorcee with impossibly high standards that no one will ever be able to meet.
In fact, you inherently know that he will inherit all of the friends that you met as a couple and perhaps some of the ones which you introduced to him. They love him. He is lovable in that hapless husband way which makes women want to nurture him.
Well, at least your kids will still talk to you…hopefully.





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Writer's Nook Envy

I am in the process of creating a Writer's Nook for my townhouse. This task is so  Gen X/hipstery that I feel a little sheepish about even blogging about it. Yet, it must be mentioned because this simple task has turned into a huge undertaking.

My new townhouse has a spacious basement which upon first glance seemed like a great place to set up an office and a workshop. Setting up the work table and supplies went pretty smoothly.

However, the drafty basement has proved to be a not so great location for my writer's nook. Also, it is a windowless space which after awhile made me feel as though I was in some sort of lock down situation.

So, I moved my writer's nook upstairs and this space is definitely more conducive for working. Though, my makeshift printer tables pushed together a long with the dining room chair screams "first apartment out of college chic".

At age 41, I would like to move past that decor and into something a lot more sophisticated.

Alas, cash flo…

Lots Of Irons In My Fire...

The past few months have been hectic in a good way. Years of personal growth, soul searching, and planning have come to fruition. Though, everything is not completely in place yet. I am definitely moving in the right direction.

I know this because the obstacles which were firmly in my way before seem to be stepping aside for me. The Universe seems to have given its blessing to this more evolved path that I am walking. Of course, this is not to say that there will not be challenges along the way.

But, I have learned over the years how not to allow challenges to become permanent barriers. Challenges are meant to guide us in the right direction. Unfortunately,they can occur without prior warning and despite having a solid contingency plan in place. Been there. Done that.

It has only been within the past few years that I have truly learned to embrace the wisdom which can come from challenges and unforeseen delays. A few years ago, several challenges swept into my life and seemed to take …

I am a bougie girl: Bold Statement Necklace

This necklace requires some sass and a little fashion imagination