Your friends hate him. Your family is not really a fan of his either. You are even starting to detest him a little bit. But, you feel guilty for your sudden onslaught of disdain for him. Then, you reason that it is technically his fault since your disdain stems from his lack of vocational prospects.
Yes, you could technically do better. But, you’ve already broken him in and acclimated him to the way in which you like things to be done. You are definitely not ready to give him up.
But, no one in either your inner or outer circle has any amount of respect for him. Perhaps, if he didn’t look at you as though you were his last life raft, you could scrape up a bit of respect for him.
You have consulted just about everyone on both sides of your family, as well as close friends. Everyone is in agreement that he has to go. However, what no one can seem to agree on is the manner in which you tell him goodbye.
You have debated whether just to pack up his stuff when he is out at one of his gaming conventions and put it out on the front lawn. Sure, it’s a little passive-aggressive but it would get the job done. Breaking up with him via text could adversely harm your karma. Picking a fight with him is next to impossible since he is so passive.
Waves of intense guilt wash over you, and you decide to ignore the advice of the committee. You resolve not to break up with him at all. In fact, you plan on stepping up your efforts to be super girlfriend. You surmise that your extra efforts will both encourage and inspire him to be a better boyfriend.
Six months later, he lands a decent paying job and begins even going on evening runs with you. You are walking on a cloud of bliss. Gone are the ratty T-shirts and the bad hygiene habits. This new and improved man is your dream guy. You are relieved that the committee was wrong about dumping him.
Still, some of the committee members are suspicious of his recent improvements.
Your mother constantly asks, “Don’t you think that it’s strange that he all of a sudden decided to start improving himself?”
Your response is a smug smile and then, “The love of a supportive woman can work wonders in a man’s life.”
Your mother shakes her head skeptically, and wisely decides not to argue.
Another few months pass by and you catch him looking at engagement rings online.
He seems weirded out that you have caught him in the act. He quickly closes the browser and stammers, “It’s supposed to be a surprise.”
You scoop up your phone and make a beeline for the bedroom. You spend the next 2 hours calling the committee to inform them of this recent turn of events.
A couple of weeks later, he is sitting across from you at table in the dimly lit bistro down the street from your house. He is nervous and fidgety, not really meeting your eye. Something seems off, but then again he never was much for talking about his feelings.
“So, I want you to know how grateful that I am to you. You helped me grow so much over these past few years. I know that I wasn’t always the best boyfriend but, you still stood by my side.”
You feel your heart fluttering at his kind words.
“Of course,” you murmur in response. “A good woman supports her man through thick and thin.”
“That’s why it is so difficult for me to do this,” he continues.
Wait, it’s difficult to propose to a woman who has had your back for the past few years?
Something’s definitely up.
“I don’t understand,” you reply.
He takes a deep breath. “I can’t do this anymore. I feel like staying in this relationship would be settling for me.”
Is he freakin’ kidding? Staying with you is all of a sudden akin to settling?
“Whoa, are you breaking up with me?” you screech.
Nearby patrons are suddenly focused on your table. He looks mortified, but you don’t care. You think of the time you wasted on this clown. All of the times that he humiliated you in front of friends and family with his slackerish ways. Now, all of a sudden, he’s dumping you in the bistro down the street from your apartment.
The ring that he was taking great pains to hide wasn’t for you at all. There is another woman in the picture.
“Who is she? The one whom you bought the ring for?” you demand.
He looks down at his hands. “I met her at work. She’s a widowed mom with a couple of kids. She’s studying to be an accountant.”
“How long have you been seeing her?”
“About 8 months. She’s pregnant, and I want to do the right thing by her.”
His statement takes me by such surprise that you find yourself standing up straight without another word and walking out of the bistro.You viewed him as a once in a lifetime investment. Yet, he saw you as a live-in life coach and financier. The committee was correct in their advice to you. You should have dumped him months ago.