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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Honesty Monologues: Cheered Off A Cliff



"You can do it!"  I cheerfully declare.

Although,  I know that you are headed straight for disaster.

My sweet empty words push you ever closer to the proverbial cliff's edge.

Going...Going..Gone






Saturday, August 25, 2012

Friday, August 24, 2012

Freewriting Series: Fondness Isn't Love


Fondness Isn't Love zazzle_sticker
Fondness Isn't Love by Bougie Girl Apparel

Fondness isn't love. How many times do we have to get our heartbroken before we realize that one cannot build a life with someone else based strictly on fondness?

Basing a relationship solely on love alone is risky at best. But, trying to sustain a relationship on fondness is just plain hazardous to your heart.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Honesty Monologues: Boneyard of Broken Promises


Wending your way through the Boneyard of Broken Promises is not easy. Just remember to put one foot in front of the other. Also, try not to openly gawk at the husks of the abandoned promises He made to you way back when.

It can be tempting to try and warn the poor unfortunate woman whom comes  along after you about the Baron of this particular Boneyard of Broken Promises. However, please do not waste your energy in doing so. She will have to learn on her own much like you did.

Don't you recall how his previous exes, his family/friends, your family/friends tried to warn you about his grandiose promises and his tendency to break them on a regular basis?

Did you listen?

Of course you didn't.

Why?

Because you needed to believe that his past behavior of breaking promises was a reflection of his  most recent Ex. If She would have only kept him happy, he would not have broken his promises to her.

Ironically, once upon a time, She believed the same thing about her predecessor and it took her years to navigate herself through the Boneyard of Broken Promises back into the Land of Sanity. Follow her example and just keeping walking towards the light...do not look back.


Honesty Dialogues: The Ex Tax


(A man and woman are seated across from one another at a kitchen table. They are in a spirited discussion.)


Man:
So let me get this straight...you don't want to get back together.

Woman:
Exactly.

Man:
Why not? We were good together. During our relationship, my life felt right.

Woman:
That's nice. But, you seemed to have forgotten the hell you put me through.

Man: What do you mean?

Woman:
Well, let's start with the daily 3 hour conversations about what a horrible woman your Ex is. Then, perhaps, afterwards we can discuss how all of your life's problems can be directly attributed to your Ex. And then maybe, we can chat about how she is never going to let you go and she stirs up trouble in all of your relationships by using your children as weapons against you.

Man:
Wow, now you are just being mean-spirited.

Woman:
Which part of my last statement contained mean-spiritedness?

Man:
It's not her fault that she is the way she is.

Woman:
Of course it's not. Besides, I wasn't in a relationship with her. I was in one with you.
 (Pause) Well, I guess she was also in the relationship. That's why I had to leave you. It got  a little too crowded.

Man:
I don't love her anymore. You're the one I want to be with.

Woman:
Sure, I am the one whom you want to be with until things get rocky and then you run to her. But, you only stay long enough to get your ego properly inflated. Apparently, you do not have enough true confidence in yourself as a person to handle being with someone healthy. So, over the years you use your Ex to boost your ego. But, an inflated ego is a poor substitute for true belief in oneself.  Perhaps, one day you will learn this.

Man:
Whatever. She's ten times better than you anyway.

Woman:
Really? Is that why you keep leaving her?

Man:
Shut up.

Woman:
Look, I have no ill-will towards you. I just don't wish to ever reconcile with you.

Man:
You'll be back.

Woman:
Don't count on it. By the way, give my regards to your Ex. Also, be sure to tell her that she can stop stalking my Facebook page.


Friday, August 10, 2012

Honesty Dialogues: Discard Pile


Discard Pile
Discard Pile by Bougie Girl Apparel

(A Male Interviewer is sitting in an overstuffed chair on a sound stage in front of a live studio audience. A pleasant looking woman named Jenny is sitting in an overstuffed chair across from the Male Interviewer. The Female Guest is on the show to discuss her  Ex's monologue.)

Male Interviewer:
Today's show is a response to the concept of being an Ex for a reason. Please welcome my guest Jenny to the show.
(The audience applauds politely.)

Jenny:
Thanks for having me on the show.

Male Interviewer:
Just a little while back you were on the receiving end of a somewhat scathing monologue by your Ex-husband. In that monologue, he revealed that you two were still um, having relations. Also, that he was ready to move on with his life.

Jenny:
It was quite a monologue.

Male Interviewer:
What was going through your mind at the time of his rant?

Jenny:
I was in shock. I mean we had this perfect little arrangement and I really thought that we would get back together.

Male Interviewer:
So you thought that if you went along with this arrangement he would eventually agree to marry you again?

Jenny:
Yeah. I mean, I knew that he was still on the dating scene but, he wasn't serious about any of those women. He had me and the kids. We are his family.

Male Interviewer:
Had he ever explicitly told you that he was going to reconcile with you?

Jenny:
He said that he missed being a family with us. I just assumed that he was getting himself together to return to us.

Male Interviewer:
He mentioned that his lack of maturity as being the main reason why he  kept the tryst going. How did it make you feel to hear him say that?

Jenny:
I was in shock. I always thought it was because we were each other's first love. You never lose that connection. We were just to young and selfish the first time around. 

Male Interviewer:
Would you also say that you felt like you had power of the situation because of the kids?  In fact  these trysts were a way for you to sabotage his chances of moving on?

Jenny:
(Muttering)
Damn, you're good. Yeah, I thought that I could keep him hemmed up in mental games long enough, he would eventually just cave in and stay with us.

Male Interviewer:
When did you realize that this behavior was only going to backfire on you?

Jenny:
To be honest, I never thought that it would. I could keep him so distracted that he would cave in and come back to us.

Male Interviewer:
But, he never really left the kids. He was visiting them on a regular basis. It was you that he divorced.

Jenny:
(Quietly)
Wow, way to mince words... He's right. We are exes for a reason and no matter how many ways I try to use the kids as leverage or beg him to come back. He's still my Ex and if he wanted to be back with me then, nothing could keep him away.

Male Interviewer:
Just to be clear, your Ex is not a saint in the situation. He knowingly led you on for a long time. That was wrong of him. He didn't hang onto you out of love. It was his own lack of maturity and fear of the unknown which kept in stringing you along. This is not to say that you are not lovable...you deserve more than your Ex was ever going to be able to give you. Even if you reconciled with him, a huge part of you would always resent how he treated you.

Jenny:
You are right. It just felt like if I completely let him go then, I would have to admit that I feel like he just discarded me. (Pause) Like something that he didn't want anymore and it made me feel worthless.

Male Interviewer:
You are far from worthless. Always remember that.

Jenny:
I will. I promise.







 

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Honesty Monologues: Operation- Chess Piece



It's not easy being the chess piece in someone else's game. Admittedly, I make it look easy. But, rest assured this is a difficult gig. For one thing, being a chess piece means that I am always at the mercy of someone else's emotional rollercoaster.  I am free to go at any time, yet something still  keeps me rooted to my  square.