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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Honesty Monologue: Relationship Scorecard


It's bottom of the 9th, Team Nostalgia has been outplaying you since the top of the 5th.

This game, like the relationship started out so promising. You were given assurances by General Management aka your significant other that Team Nostalgia  could not compete against the powerhouse that is Team You. 

Of course, General Management wasn't being all that forthright with you. In fact, General Management is secretly rooting for Team Nostalgia to clobber you. It makes easier on his ego if Team Nostalgia wins. He's been trying to justify his prior bad judgement so each time Team Nostalgia hits a homer he feels as though perhaps she wasn't so bad after all.

Now, before you hit the showers all dejected and depressed. Please note that you are not the first  to  get the snot beat out of you by Team Nostalgia. No, you are simply that latest one to get shut out.  

The deck is perpetually stacked against the guest team of the game.  Wanna know a secret?

You are basically a downgraded version of Team Nostalgia.

See once upon a time,  General Management made the mistake of bringing in a Winning Team.  The Winning Team had an excellent batting average, could throw like the wind, catch the ball, and ran the bases like a gazelle. During a triple header, Team Nostalgia was completely shut out by this particular ball club.

General Management was so astonished that after the final game of the triple header he walked out onto the field and apologized to Team Nostalgia. Winning Team was shocked to see him still closely consorting with  Team Nostalgia. It turns out that he was still heartsick  over Team Nostalgia. 

From that point on, General Management fired the Winning Team and vowed to only hire downgraded versions of Team Nostalgia.

The cycle continues and your constant complaints about Team Nostalgia only brings General Management closer to  her.

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