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Sunday, March 4, 2012

Next Stop...Single Motherhood

Next Stop..Single Motherhood card
Next Stop..Single Motherhood by Bougie Girl Apparel

A few weeks ago, I made the life-changing decision to become a single mom. Previously, I had bandied the idea about half-seriously/half-jokingly. Losing both a pregnancy  and my father last year, made me realize just how much I wanted to be mother. 

Yet, the traditional route of getting married and starting a family seemed not to be in the cards for me. I could complain about the dearth of eligible men out here in the dating world and constantly dwell on my past relationship failures...or I could turn my focus to fulfilling my life-long dream of being a mother and leave the rest behind.

I came to this decision for the following reasons:
  1. I don't want to put a lot pressure on a potential suitor to propose after the first date.
  2.  I don't want to convince/coerce a  man into having a child with me because of my biological clock.
Instead, I am choosing to go the sperm bank route. I am what the OB/GYN community refers to as a woman of advanced maternal age  and I also have a history of prior miscarriages.  Meaning, that I might not be able to sustain a healthy pregnancy at all.

If that's the case, I am headed to the county to become a foster mom with the intention of eventual adoption. 

Will this path be easy?

Heck, no.

Parenthood is difficult even when you have two healthy partners raising a child. I am fully aware that this journey into single motherhood is not going to be a walk in the park. My parents divorced when I was in elementary school and I saw first-hand the difficulty of being a single mom.

Luckily, my mother had a great support system which enabled her to make it work .In addition, we remained close with my father and his family. My childhood wasn't perfect but, overall I was surrounded by solid adult role models.

My child to be will be blessed with a village of solid adult role models.

Bottom line,  I am done waiting around for a man to "choose" me so that I can go onto the next chapter of my life. It's time for me to do the choosing.

 I am choosing single motherhood.


  1. Love this post! I went home last night and did a ton of research on adoption because that will most likely be my route in a few years.

  2. Right on. I can't wait to be a Mom!


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