Skip to main content

The Loser Spirit Series: The Self-Loather and the Scapegoat


The Loser Spirit loves bringing toxic folks together to form a very unholy union. This really applies to the joining of the self-loather and the scapegoat. In my observation, the self-loather and the scapegoat are two sides of the same coin.  Both of them are carrying a truckload of self-hate towards themselves. They just express it in distinctly different ways.
Every successful self-loather needs a proper scapegoat  to blame all of their problems on. The self-loather chooses a scapegoat whom is a less evolved version of themselves.
This gives the self-loather the bonus of disliking themselves, while still getting to feel better than someone else. It is just like a dysfunctional  2-for-1 special!

The Loser Spirit reminds you on a daily basis just how sub par your scapegoat is in comparison to you. 
You in turn, treat them accordingly. You set up elaborate mind games to confuse your scapegoat. You treat them poorly for the first three weeks out of the month. During the final week of the month, you act loving and considerate. 

Your well choreographed actions gives the scapegoat a nugget of hope that perhaps you do treasure them after all.  They become even more pliant to your demands because they believe doing so will result in better treatment from you. Yet, the scapegoat never quite realizes that they are a temporary pawn in your game. After you have wrung every ounce of self-respect from the scapegoat, you move on to a fresher target.

Self-loathers, I am well aware that is difficult to handle all of the dark swirling emotions which cause you to lash out at your scapegoat of the moment. Most likely, you still have not forgiven yourself for your past mistakes and poor decisions. Do you want to stop disliking yourself so much? Do you long for inner peace? If not, continue rockin' your cycle of scapegoats whom you hold no respect for! Complain to everyone about the general ineptitude of your scapegoat. Then, sit back and let the temporary rush of superiority wash over you.

However, if you are tired of hating yourself all the time, it is your responsibility to remove yourself from the path of self-loathing. Destroying someone else's emotional well-being does not eradicate your own self-loathing in the long run.

2. The Scapegoat
Wanna know the secret to being a truly awesome scapegoat? You have to associate with folks whom value you even less than you do.

Being a scapegoat is truly a thankless job. You take all of the blame and rarely get any credit for how "helpful" you are to the self-loathers of the world. Being a good scapegoat means that you are no longer allowed to value nor respect yourself. But, if you allow yourself to be a scapegoat all of the time, then self-worth and self-respect are most likely not known factors in your world in the first place.

The Loser Spirit wants you to stay heavily associated with self-loathers. It will advise a scapegoat to stay attached to a self-loather. The Loser Spirit preys on your  deeply ingrained feelings of inadequacy  and reassures you that the self-loather is really your savior in disguise.
You are constantly telling your friends and family that things with the self-loather are not so bad. You lie to yourself by saying that you are really the one in control. As long as you keep the self-loather happy, they will eventually realize how great you are and treat you accordingly. However, more than likely you are just a stepping stone to them.

Scapegoats, I know that you are probably accustomed to  being treating poorly. Being blamed for everything in your mind is not so bad. At least the self-loather is paying attention to you. Any attention is better than nothing. You constantly give the self-loather money, lend out your car, make excuses for them, and  permanently hand over the keys your self-respect.

However, you have to realize that the self-loather is not going to ever truly cherish you.  They are constantly on the hunt for a higher quality scapegoat.

Is being the "number one, go to" scapegoat more important than your self-respect?  If it is, by all means rock your scapegoat/victim status to the hilt! Tell everyone about how mean the self-loather is to you. Give your loved ones play-by-play anecdotes of their cruelty towards you.
However, if you are tired of being used and abused, it is your responsibility to walk away from the self-loather. You are in essence choosing between being treated as the proverbial gum under someone else's shoe or your own self-respect.


Popular posts from this blog

Divatosity: Writer's Nook Envy

I am in the process of creating a Writer's Nook for my townhouse. This task is so  Gen X/hipstery that I feel a little sheepish about even blogging about it. Yet, it must be mentioned because this simple task has turned into a huge undertaking.

My new townhouse has a spacious basement which upon first glance seemed like a great place to set up an office and a workshop. Setting up the work table and supplies went pretty smoothly.

However, the drafty basement has proved to be a not so great location for my writer's nook. Also, it is a windowless space which after awhile made me feel as though I was in some sort of lock down situation.

So, I moved my writer's nook upstairs and this space is definitely more conducive for working. Though, my makeshift printer tables pushed together a long with the dining room chair screams "first apartment out of college chic".

At age 41, I would like to move past that decor and into something a lot more sophisticated.

Alas, cash flo…

Lots Of Irons In My Fire...

The past few months have been hectic in a good way. Years of personal growth, soul searching, and planning have come to fruition. Though, everything is not completely in place yet. I am definitely moving in the right direction.

I know this because the obstacles which were firmly in my way before seem to be stepping aside for me. The Universe seems to have given its blessing to this more evolved path that I am walking. Of course, this is not to say that there will not be challenges along the way.

But, I have learned over the years how not to allow challenges to become permanent barriers. Challenges are meant to guide us in the right direction. Unfortunately,they can occur without prior warning and despite having a solid contingency plan in place. Been there. Done that.

It has only been within the past few years that I have truly learned to embrace the wisdom which can come from challenges and unforeseen delays. A few years ago, several challenges swept into my life and seemed to take …

I am a bougie girl: New Beginnings....

New beginnings require a tranquil mind and a determined spirit.