You do not know how to give love. You sure as hell do not know how to receive it. However, you are familiar with how to get what you want out of others.You are in a constant state of manipulating others to do your bidding. It is all just a game to you. At least that is what you tell yourself. Of course, you would never want to admit that your manipulation stems from a childhood of invisibility. You wanted to feel and be loved during your childhood... but, it did not happen.
You begged to be cherished by someone, anyone but no one stepped forward during your younger years.
You also tried so hard to be noticed and recognized as someone extraordinary. But, no one ever paid attention ...until you started playing mind games.
The game is set up so that it will revolve around you. No matter what happens in the game, you will turn out to be the victor of it all. The goal is to keep other folks perpetually caught up in your web, so that for better or worse you remain the center of their universe.
Years are ticking by and it has become more apparent that manipulation is a poor substitute for the genuine love which you have secretly sought all along. You are no longer able to delude yourself into thinking that holding control over another person is the same as being loved by them.