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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Good Pudding Dialogues: ACT I, SCENE I



SETTING
We are on a fishing dock with 30-something COLTON and his best friend 30-something DRAKE. 

AT RISE:                 
It is early afternoon. COLTON and DRAKE are taking a break from fishing to eat a lunch prepared by COLTON'S wife, ALEXIS.  DRAKE is expressing his dissatisfaction with his current dating situation.

DRAKE:
In the beginning, things are always so great. You know?

COLTON:
Yeah.
DRAKE:
You call them a couple times a week, go out on dates and have amazing sex. But, after a couple of months they start  gettin’ all intense about the relationship and you’re constantly having to reassure them about everything.

COLTON:
I remember those days.
DRAKE:
Alexis doesn’t seem like the type that needs to be reassured.

COLTON:
She isn’t. But, I dated a lot of needy chicks before she came along.
DRAKE:
Man, I don’t know how you do it.

COLTON:
What?
DRAKE:
How you can sit here on these fishing trips with me when you have a hottie like Alexis at home.

COLTON:
Easy. She encourages me to stay in contact with my friends. She really believes in the importance in maintaining friendships.

DRAKE:
Must be nice. Molly is always trying to get me to spend every waking moment with her. I feel suffocated and she‘s just my fallback chick. I had to promise her a fancy dinner at a Trattoria to get her to leave me alone this weekend.

COLTON:
That’s rough.
DRAKE:
I’ll say. The prices there are outrageous and the food isn’t even that great. I just don’t know where it went wrong with Molly.

COLTON:
Did she play hard to get?
DRAKE:
Of course. That’s what they do to get us hooked.

COLTON:
We get so caught up in the hunt  that we don’t really consider what we are chasing down. Then, we get them back to our proverbial lair and find out that  what we pursued so whole-heartedly isn’t anything special.

DRAKE:
Then, you spend the next few months running like hell to get away from them.
COLTON:
Alexis wasn’t hard to get. I mean she was in the sense that she has a  strong sense of self-respect, but she was straightforward in how she felt about me. But, let me tell she is hard to keep. That’s what makes her cut above all of my exes.

DRAKE:
Is she high-maintenance? ( Takes a huge bite of the chicken sandwich.)  This is delicious by the way.

COLTON:
Thanks, I’ll send the compliments to the chef. Alexis, isn’t high-maintenance in the traditional sense. I mean she isn’t overly materialistic or emotional needy. But, she doesn’t put up with crap. In the beginning of our relationship, I cheated on her with my ex. It was a stupid drunken mistake. Alexis found out and dumped me. She said that if I was going to step out on her during the honeymoon phase of our relationship then I would probably do it when things were rough between us.
You cheated on Alexis?
COLTON:
Yeah and I am not proud of that.

DRAKE:
I should kick your ass myself.

COLTON:
After she left me, I went on a six month bender and it wasn’t pretty. I ran into her in restaurant while she was out on a date with some dork. They were laughing and totally at ease with each other. In that moment, I wanted to kick that guy’s ass for being out with her. Meanwhile, my flavor of the week is standing  right next to me and she’s whining about  wanting to go out to some noisy nightclub to meet up with her annoying friends.
I didn’t even hear her, because I was plotting to get Alexis back in my life.
DRAKE:
How did you get Alexis to come back to you?

COLTON:
I asked her to have coffee with me to apologize face-to-face for cheating on her. She agreed to meet me. I begged her to take me back and she said that she still  cared for me, but didn’t know if she could ever trust me again.

DRAKE:
Damn. Then what happened?
COLTON:
I convinced her to meet me for coffee every Sunday afternoon for three months.  The whole time she was going on dates with other guys. She was upfront about the fact that she was dating other guys. She never rubbed it in my face. She just wanted to be honest with me. One Sunday afternoon, we had a picnic. She made this delicious lunch  and we sat and talked for hours.  We were so comfortable with one another and I knew that I had to make a move.

DRAKE:
Lunch was amazing. If you and Alexis don’t work out. Give her my number.

COLTON:
Over my dead body.
DRAKE:
Can’t blame a guy for trying.

COLTON:
Yeah, I can. Anyway, I kissed her and told her that I loved her. A year later we were married.

DRAKE:
 And you’ve been eating well ever since.

COLTON:
(Nodding, as he opens the container with the “good” pudding.) Being with Alexis makes everything better.

DRAKE:
Are you gonna eat all the pudding?

COLTON:
Yeah, the “good” pudding is just for me.

DRAKE:
Man, I need to find me some “good” pudding!

(Stage lights go down.)



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